So You Can’t Afford to Adopt?

“How do people afford adoption?” As an adoption consultant, this is one of the most frequently asked questions I receive. The financial aspects of adoption are, for many families, their number one concern when they begin inquiring about the process.

When my husband and I started researching adoption it was one of our biggest concerns. “How will we afford it?” At the time my husband was a youth pastor working on his PhD and I was working full-time and attending graduate school. Quite a bit of our income was going towards tuition. As you can imagine, we didn’t have a huge chunk of money sitting in a savings account. But, we were confident that God wanted us to begin growing our family through adoption and we knew that He would provide everything we needed.

We began applying for adoption grants, no-interest adoption loans and fundraising. As we started sharing our story people began praying for us and supporting financially. I will never forget the day a kind woman approached me at church and put a check in my hand. As I opened it tears of gratitude filled my eyes and I looked back up at her, “Are you serious? But, are you sure? I don’t know if I can accept this. It’s so much.” I will never forget her response, “Kelly, it is a blessing to me to be able to be a part of your adoption journey in this way. Don’t rob me of this blessing.”

I have numerous moments like this in our own adoption journey that I could share with you. Thankfully, our story isn’t unique. I could spend all day sharing stories about God’s faithfulness from others who have been blessed by the generosity of family, friends and even complete strangers in the adoption process. Just the other week a family was in need of a certain amount to finance the rest of their adoption. They received a little over the amount they needed in the mail from a family friend!

Trusting God with the finances of our adoption was one of the most difficult things for my husband and I. It was also very humbling. Can you relate? I know most of you can. But God gave us exactly what we needed in His perfect timing. Did the money just fall from the sky? No, we worked hard, saved, applied for adoption grants and loans. We even did a few fundraisers! We saw God’s faithfulness and provision through the hands and feet of family, friends and even complete strangers.

“Adoption is so expensive to begin with! Is it really worth hiring an adoption consultant?” This was one of our concerns, as well. Take it from someone who has walked through the adoption process before: I don’t know how we would have journeyed through this adventure without our consultant. One of the reasons (among many) that families choose to work with Christian Adoption Consultants is because of our creative financing ideas. We equip our families with the following information:

  • Average Adoption Costs-a break-down of typical agency/attorney fees
  • Adoption Tax Credit and Dependency Exemptions-direct our families towards exploring tax benefits
  • Adoption loans-no-interest and low-interest options and providers
  • Adoption Grants-detailed list of grant providers
  • Creative Fundraising Ideas-including testimonials from our staff and families of creative ideas that have assisted in raising thousands of dollars for their adoptions

In addition to creative financing ideas, we help our families navigate the risks associated with the process. The nation wide failure rate for an adoption is 50-60%. Can you imagine how many families have lost thousands of dollars in regards to a failed adoption? Although no one can eliminate all of the risk in adoption, families working with Christian Adoption Consultants experience a drastically lower failure rate (<20%). I believe this is because we direct our families to ethical and adoption-friendly agencies and attorneys that have endured our vetting process. Additionally, we assist them in navigating the warnings signs to reduce the levels of risks associated with the adoption process. We also provide adoption resources and education so our families are equipped with knowledge to make informed decisions in their journey.

The financial cost of adoption prevents many families from beginning the adoption process, but it doesn’t have to. When I was functioning in a “what I can accomplish” mentality I was buried in fear about how we would come up with the funds for our adoption. It genuinely felt like an impossible task. I will never forget the day my husband said, “Kelly, God isn’t going to call us to this journey and leave us to ourselves. He will provide everything we need to accomplish everything He has called us to.” This wasn’t new information to me. But I think that somewhere in the mix of filling out paperwork, setting up our home study interviews, applying for grants and loans that I had lost sight of who was in control. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t Christian Adoption Consultants. It wasn’t an adoption agency. It was God. And it was in that moment that I was reminded that nothing could prevent us from accomplishing what God had planned for us-not even my doubt or fear.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

5 Ways You Can Be More Connected During the Adoption Process

My husband and I had recently started our home study and I was feeling a bit disconnected from the adoption process. I was very excited about the journey we were on, but there were times when it felt more like an idea than a reality to me. When you’re pregnant there are constant reminders that your baby is on the way: positive pregnancy test, morning sickness, weird cravings, belly bump, movement from the little one growing inside your belly, sonogram, etc. I was sharing this struggle with my friend and I will never forget the advice she gave me. “Kelly, I think there are many ways you can be more connected during the adoption process. Have you ever thought about starting a prayer journal where you pray specifically for the expectant mother and her baby?”

 1. Journaling. We had been praying about our journey and for our child’s expectant mother for quite awhile, but there is something special about putting pen to paper. And so, I started journaling about our process. I started writing down my specific prayers for the expectant mother and her little one. Even though we hadn’t been matched at the time, God knew who she was. I prayed that God would give her strength and that she would feel His peace. There were days I remembering praying specifically that if she was having a difficult day that God would remind her of His love in a tangible way-a way she could actually see and recognize.

I wrote specifically to our baby (little did we know we were praying for twins)! I wrote about how much we loved them and how we couldn’t wait to meet them. I prayed they would always be confident of their birth mama’s love for them. I prayed they would never question it. I prayed for their salvation, that they would come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior. It was such a special way for us to feel more connected to them even before we ever laid eyes on them. They were growing in their birth mama’s belly for 9 months, but love had been growing in our heart just the same.

Other helpful things we did to be more connected during the adoption process:

2. Read books and blogs about adoption and parenting. Reading about the adoption process and hearing other families stories ignited hope in us and we were reminded of the faithfulness of our heavenly Father. We also checked in often with our adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultant for educational adoption resources.

-Adopted For Life by Russell Moore 
-Christian Adoption Consultants Blog
-Loving the Little Years-Rachel Jankovic 

3. Prepared the nursery. 
Preparing the nursery may not be beneficial for everyone, but my husband and I found it very helpful in our journey. It was good to have something tangible to be working on while we were waiting.  It also provided us with a sense of hope when we walked into their room. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent in the twin’s nursery before we even knew about them. I would sit in the recliner and journal or turn praise worship music on, as I prayed for them and their birth mama.

4. Friends & family threw us a baby shower. I will never forget the feeling I had walking into our baby shower. As I looked around at the beautiful room filled with all of the women at our church who had been praying for us, I saw my friend standing right in front of me. I  fell into her arms with tears streaming down my face, as I was overcome with their thoughtfulness and the hope that this day brought. We spent time in prayer for my husband and I, the twins and their brave birth mama. At the shower we were given the “The Jesus Storybook Bible” with all of the names of the ladies who were at the shower. They also wrote specific prayers for our children on note cards that I saved and placed in a memory box that I will give to our twins one day.

5. Talked with friends and family about our adoption process. Support and prayers from our family and friends as we were walking through the adoption process was invaluable. There were certain aspects of the process that we weren’t able to share due to confidentiality, but we always kept our friends and family updated on where we were at in the process so they could be praying for us. Prayers from our family and friends carried us through the home study, waiting for an expectant mother to choose us, more waiting, meeting our babies and their birth mom for the first time, and all of the emotions and thoughts that come with the adoption process and being new parents. 

I will never forget the thoughts and emotions that swept over me as I laid eyes on our sweeties for the very first time. All the love that had been growing in our hearts for years overtook me as streams of joy-filled tears ran down my face onto the cheeks of the most beautiful brown eyes staring back at me. They had our hearts wrapped around their little fingers from the moment we held them in our arms.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***