Adoption Story: Derek + Shannon

I chatted with Shannon for the very first time around Christmas last year.   I remember her talking about how it had been snowing there recently and they had been outside playing with their four boys. It has been such a joy getting to know their sweet family and have a front row seat to all of the incredible ways that God has provided. They signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants in January and in less than two months they were chosen to be the parents of a little girl by her brave birth mama. Shannon shares more of their story below.


Adoption was something that Derek and I talked about early on in our marriage. We wanted to wait on God’s timing and for His plan to be made clear. Looking back over the past 10 years- what a journey it has been. We decided to try and start a family shortly before our one year wedding anniversary. I know- so soon?! But we were both settled in our jobs, we felt financially secure, and let’s be honest- I have always loved babies and couldn’t wait to start that chapter in our lives. Over the next few years we had four boys about 2 years a part. However, we felt like our family wasn’t complete. Watching close friends journey through foster care and domestic adoption, our hearts were being tugged at more and more.

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I was ready to start the adoption process quite a bit before Derek was. I talked about it all the time. I felt like I was often nagging him about getting on the same page and wondered, “God, why are you calling me to something so huge, but not my husband?!” I decided to lay low for awhile and completely drop the topic and just pray. So for a few months that’s what I did. Finally, in October o f 2017 after we both spent time in prayer, Derek said that he really felt we should start the process towards adoption…NOW!

After discussing our options with a friend who recently adopted, I called Christian Adoption Consultants and spoke with Kelly Todd. I loved the idea of hiring an adoption consultant to walk with us through the entire process. Because let’s be honest, we were total newbies and we had no idea what we were doing. Simply just chatting with Kelly and getting information from her was like talking to an old friend. I felt my eyes literally tear up at times during the conversation when talking about that missing piece of the family, and our hearts for adoption. Kelly was so helpful and made us feel very comfortable and confident throughout our entire journey.

After our home study was complete near the end of January 2018, we signed on with CAC. Shortly after we received our first situation. We were so excited to give our “yes” for the first time, but knew very well not to expect things to happen right away. Over the next month, we said “yes” to 3 more situations. Every “no” felt more like a “not yet” to us, and we trusted that God wouldn’t let us miss out on His plan for our family. There were times when we doubted and we wondered if we’d ever be chosen by an expectant mama. Some of the doubt specifically came from the fact that we already have 4 biological children. What would an expectant mom think about that? But time and time again we heard God telling us just to trust Him. And so we did.

Near the end of March we presented to another situation. The next day, as I was building a snowman with the boys outside during a freak March snowstorm, my cell phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. But by the area code I figured it was the agency calling to tell us that the expectant mama chose to move forward with another family. I was shocked when she explained to us that we were chosen. It was us- this was really happening!  There was just something about this sweet little baby girl having four older brothers to protect her that made us stand out. Derek pulled in from work just a few minutes later and I ran outside (barefoot and all) onto the ice and snow telling him that we were matched! It was exciting, but nerve wracking all at once. We had a few months until the expectant mother’s due date. Having time to prepare was good, but it wasn’t always easy. It was difficult waiting in the unknown and we still struggled with doubt sometimes. Our faith was tested almost daily, but God continued to show up. He showed up during our fundraisers-helping us cram in two huge events in that time frame. He showed up with our community- with the support and love and prayers we felt all the time. He was faithful and He provided for us in so many ways.

When Derek and I discovered that the expectant mother wanted me with her in the delivery room, we thought it would be best if I headed in that direction a week early. Derek would plan on coming later. My mom graciously traveled out with there early with me. A few days later we were able to have lunch with Mama A and get to know her. When we first met she greeted me with the biggest hug. It was if we had been friends forever. We also met her parents that day, who were extremely supportive and made my mom and I feel like we were family. Saturday morning my mom left and headed back home to take care of our boys. I was in the unfamiliar city alone and continued waiting to get the call that Mama A was in labor. Clinging to God and trusting His plan for us was all I could do during that time. Monday night before bed I specifically remember crying out to God, as so many emotions came over me that night as I lay in bed.

After receiving confirmation in the middle of the night that Mama A was admitted into the hospital, I called Derek to tell him to get on the next plane and I took an Uber over to the hospital. I was completely honored that she wanted me to be in the delivery room with her. It was such a special time and one that I will never forget. I held her hand and supported her, as she bravely brought her daughter into the world. After the birth she reached out to me and we hugged and cried for a very long time. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. A few hours later, Derek arrived and there could have not been a sweeter reunion.

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Over the next few days we continued to get to know our daughter’s brave birth mama. We are so inspired by her courage and the unconditional love she has for her little girl. We, along with her birth mother, named our daughter, Selah Nakora. Selah means ‘to pause and reflect’, or another interpretation says ‘to praise.’ We couldn’t think of a more fitting name for our baby.

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As soon as we brought Selah home our boys were so smitten with her and have already stepped into the “big brother” role so well. Our daughter is such a miracle baby in so many ways and we are so blessed to be her mom and dad.

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“Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name, be the glory,
because of your love &faithfulness.”
– Psalm 115:1-

 


***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption Story: Heath + Shannon

I remember speaking with Heath and Shannon for the very first time in the winter of last year. I have always been so encouraged by their unshakeable faith and the way they have trusted God with their story. They signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants in February and finished up their home study and profile in March. In June they were chosen to be the parents of a little girl by her brave birth mama. Shannon shares more of their story below!

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Waiting has always been a common theme of my life.  Waiting for a job, waiting for a husband, and waiting for a baby.  Each season of wait was harder than the wait before.  This could be why my favorite verse is Isaiah 40:31 “They that wait upon the Lord will renew our strength, they will mount up on wings as eagles, they will run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint.”

My husband and I took a while to find each other.  I thought I would never get married and Heath was content being a bachelor.  Then one day on a hike, we discovered each other.  Growing up, we had attended the same church and were well acquainted with each other’s family.  It was God who finally brought us together.  That season of waiting and feeling lonely was over.

After we were married, we decided to enjoy our first year together, growing as a couple.  When we decided to begin our family, we were disappointed to discover that we were struggling to have a baby.  We began to seek out medical consults and learned through surgery, that I had endometriosis.  The surgery to explore became the surgery to repair, but still, we struggled to grow our family.

In the meantime, we began the process of being approved for foster care.  But the timing never seemed to work out.   On the same day that we went to get a third medical opinion about our infertility, we also made an appointment to meet with adoption caseworker in our foster care organization. We felt a little hopeless after leaving the fertility doctor, but the adoption meeting was very encouraging.

After many conversations and prayers, we made the decision to begin the adoption process.  We quickly discovered that adoption is filled with so much uncertainty and we had no clue what we were doing.  But, when we met Kelly Todd, an Adoption Consultant with Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC), we knew immediately that she and CAC were both a gift from God.  The process became clearer and less daunting.  But more than that, we felt like we had a friend to guide us through this journey… to help us through the fears and rejoice with us in our joys.  Talking with Kelly was like talking with a long lost friend.

After our home study was ready to go and our profile book was complete in March, we began receiving situations. We were told “no” many times by expectant mothers. It was discouraging and somedays it felt like we would never be chosen. But, we didn’t lose hope. In April we received a situation for a baby girl due in the summer. For some reason, this young woman caught our hearts.  When we found out that she chose to move forward with another family, it was so difficult.   I remember a co-worker praying me through the tears.  Heath also felt this disappointment.   Through God’s strength, we moved forward and continued waiting.  We were secure in the knowledge that God had it all figured out and that every no would lead to a greater yes.  It’s incredible to know that we couldn’t mess up or miss out on God’s plan for our story.

Since I was a young girl, I believed that God would use myself, our farm, and our horses for a greater purpose.  It was my dream to open a children’s camp for children to ride.  I kept putting this vision off, thinking that it will happen the next year, and then the next.  But I never got around to putting it into effect. God used the wait and the unknowns in the adoption process to encourage me to take the steps necessary to organize bringing children in foster care to our farm for a week long day camp.  It was after I was obedient to his calling, we got a call that changed our lives so much.

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To our surprise, one of the agencies we were working with was contacting us about a situation we presented to a few months prior-it was the expectant mother who caught our hearts.  For some reason she was asking about us again, as she chose not to move forward with the other family. We were able to speak with her on the phone two days later and instantly clicked. She felt like a dear friend from the very beginning. We were so grateful to know that she chose us to be the parents of her little girl. Her due date was in few short weeks so we rushed to make travel arrangements to meet her and her son. We were so thrilled to have the opportunity to get to know them. Later that day, we worked together to name this precious child, Raegan Grace.  Looking back, it’s amazing to see how God worked out all of the details and met our every need.

At her request, I was able to hold her hand through delivery, while encouraging and supporting her every step of the way.  When our beautiful girl made her appearance, her brave and amazing birth mother wanted me to be the first one to hold her. As I burst into tears, Raegan’s birth mother grabbed me in a hug that I can still feel. We spent the next few days in the hospital bonding with our daughter and spending time with her birth mother. She said that it was so difficult to say goodbye, but when she saw Raegan with Heath and I, she knew she made the right decision. We are still amazed by her strength, courage and the decision she made for her baby girl. Raegan’s birth mother is a part of our family forever and we are so grateful to know her and for the selfless decision she made in choosing adoption for her daughter.

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Through the entire experience, we were blessed beyond what we could imagine.  Every day we look at our little girl, we are more and more amazed at God’s goodness.  As we prepare for her dedication, we are committed to proclaim that this precious child is God’s child and we are but caretakers of a beautiful gift.  We have been entrusted with something so precious. And we know through everything, God put it all together.

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***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Hope: Your Anchor In The Adoption Process

Hearing “no” from an expectant mother or expectant parents is one of the most difficult aspects of adoption for hopeful adoptive parents.  I would venture to say it’s one of the most difficult things I have to share with my families: “She/They chose to move forward with another couple.”  Even though I’m grateful the expectant mother connected with a different family, it’s never easy to share the news with my families who were not chosen.

When my husband and I were walking through the adoption process a situation was presented to us that we immediately connected with. I remember receiving the information while I was at work, and I couldn’t wait to get home to write a letter to this amazing couple that was considering an adoption plan for their child. We were excited and hopeful to present our profile. About a week later, we were informed that the expectant parents chose to move forward with another family. It was not easy news to process.  Even though we were happy that the expectant parents connected with another couple, and even though we trusted God and knew He had a plan, it was still difficult to hear those words: “They chose to move forward with another family.”

In many ways, I believe the heartache we dealt with in infertility prepared us in some ways for the adoption process. Initially, when we began trying to grow our family, I felt as if every negative pregnancy test was God telling us, “No.” Every month became torture. It was very painful for me because I was placing all of my hope into the prospect of having a child. It consumed me. I’m grateful that I was reminded through my infertility to stop placing my hope in external circumstances (having a child or a positive pregnancy test). But instead, I learned to place my Hope in my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Although we were matched very quickly after signing on with Christian Adoption Consultants, we weren’t immune to the heartache of waiting, loss, and those all-consuming questions like, “Have you forgotten about me, God? Do you hear my prayers?” But, it was through those tear-filled pillows and sleepless nights that I learned how to hope and where to place my hope. It was through the storms where I came to know the depths of God’s grace, love and kindness and learned there is no end to it. It was through infertility and miscarriage that I learned that even the most devastating circumstance does not have the power to steal my hope because it is rooted in Jesus Christ. That kind of hope is unshakeable and unwavering. That kind of hope isn’t titled when the storms come. It stands firm. It’s my anchor.

If our journey had transpired any differently then Roman and Ruby wouldn’t be our son and daughter. Every negative pregnancy test, every no, was leading to our yes. I can’t imagine our life without them in it. Being their mother is by far my greatest joy and blessing. I’m so grateful that God reminded me through the adoption process that His plan is far greater than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves. And I have two little reminders of that promise running around our house and filling our hearts to the brim each and every day!

We serve a good Father who loves us more than our minds can fathom. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins, for your sins, for her sins and for his sins so that we might come to know Him. I pray that wherever you are in your adoption journey you will never forget His great love for you; a kind of love that always has your best interest in mind even when you can’t comprehend or understand what He is up to.

The wait is never wasted. I can’t promise you an easy journey or that there won’t be bumps and turns along the way. Nevertheless I can with full confidence remind you that God hasn’t forgotten you. He has heard your prayers. He sees you. He is with you. He promises never to leave you.  Place your hope in Christ, friends. For nothing, not even the rushing waves, will be able to tip your sail over. 

“Never was a faithful prayer lost. Some prayers have a longer voyage than others,  but then they return with their richer lading at last, so that the  praying soul is a gainer by waiting for an answer.” -William Gurnall

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

The Wait Is Never Wasted

Are you waiting on an answer from God about when/if to begin the adoption process? Are you knee deep in paperwork and home study interviews and you feel like it’s never going to end? Are you in the very middle of the journey and it feels like an expectant mother is never going to choose your family? Are you burnt out from fundraising and applying to adoption grants and a little discouraged at how far you have to go? Did you just walk through a failed adoption and now you wonder if it’s even God’s plan for you to grow your family through adoption?

I’ve spent plenty of my time here on this earth waiting. From waiting in the oncology unit at the hospital for my test results or waiting to see a positive pregnancy test after years of trying. I’ve become quite accustomed to waiting in the unknown spaces. Waiting used to steal the very life out of me. I despised it. But then something happened and through that experience I learned to be grateful in the wait.

I was finishing up my last semester of undergraduate school when I found a small lump in my upper back. I assumed it was just a muscle knot, but upon inquiring about it, and considering my history of cancer, my doctor disagreed with my assumption and referred me to a specialist. Upon examination and surgery the pathologist said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before. It looks concerning, but I would like to get a second opinion.”

I remember the turmoil that went on in my head as I waited for a diagnosis. Days turned into weeks with no conclusive answers, as the tumor was transported from one hospital to one another for further evaluation. I wasted many hours during that time playing all the “what if” scenarios out in my head. Then, an answer came. In light of the rarity of the tumor, the oncologist still wasn’t completely certain, but it was looking like the cancer I had would need to be treated with aggressive chemotherapy.

After leaving the oncology wing that day I felt hopeless. My parents went back to the hotel room, but I told them I needed a minute to myself. I remember completely falling apart underneath a corner in the cold stairwell. My mind began drowning in a sea of unknowns.  “Would I need chemotherapy? Would I have to drop out of school? Would my fertility be affected? Was death in my immediate future?”

We opted to get another medical opinion before moving forward with the treatment plan. Waiting became second nature to me. Sitting in waiting rooms, waiting for tests to be done, waiting to hear back from the doctor about those tests-for the next 10 weeks this is what my life consisted of. To our shocking yet pleasant surprise, the final diagnosis of the tumor was cancer, but it was a less aggressive form of cancer than originally diagnosed. Therefore surgery was sufficient and no further treatment was required. Although this situation was extremely exhausting and scary, the wait wasn’t wasted. Waiting in the unknown spaces reminded me of my humanity and my weaknesses. It forced me to recognize my need for Jesus and pushed me to daily places of surrender.

What does my story have anything to do with the adoption process? Waiting in the unknown. It took me awhile, but I came to a point where I started waiting with hope, instead of waiting with worry. I found hope to be a far better choice, than allowing worry to permeate all the corners of my mind. I can see how God used all of the waiting in the oncology wing to prepare me for the many unknowns in the adoption process. 

At some point in your adoption journey you are going to be faced with a decision: “Am I going to embrace the wait or become overwhelmed by it and see it as a hindrance?” My advice for you is don’t waste the wait. Don’t rush the process. God has a purpose for ALL things-including the wait. Whether it’s waiting for your first visit with your home study provider, waiting to get the final copy of your home study, waiting to hear back from an agency, waiting to hear back from a grant application, waiting to see if an expectant mother has chosen you, waiting out ICPC, waiting for finalization (I think you get the point!)-a great deal of waiting takes place in the adoption process. But keep in mind that it is through the wait that God is growing you. It won’t be easy. But it is worth it!

“In retrospect, I can see that “wait” is the most precious answer God can give us. It makes us cling to him rather than cling to an outcome. God knows what I need. I do not. He sees the future. I cannot. His perspective is eternal. Mine is not. He will give me what is best for me. When it is best for me. As Paul Tripp says, “Waiting is not just about what I get at the end of the wait, but about who I become as I wait.” -Vaneetha Risner

Some helpful things I did while waiting in the adoption process:
-Created a play list of worship music and played it all throughout the day
-Spoke regularly with friends who had walked through the adoption process before and could understand what I was going through
-Prayed specifically for the expectant mother and child that would one day choose us
-Communicated with our consultant at Christian Adoption Consultants
-Read a ton of blogs/books about adoption
-Kept a prayer journal about our journey (so neat to look back on!)
-Went on date nights with my husband to stay connected during the process

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***