Navigating Infertility In Adoption

For many families, the path to adoption begins after the heartbreak of infertility. That was part of my story too. I know firsthand how infertility brings waves of grief, disappointment, and questions for God. I remember the pain of waiting, the tears shed over dashed hopes, and the aching emptiness that felt like it might never be filled.

But in the midst of that season, God was doing a work I couldn’t fully see. He was writing a story of redemption and hope that I now see so clearly through adoption. While infertility wasn’t something I would have chosen, it’s been one of the ways God has taught me to trust Him more deeply and to surrender my plans to His better ones.

If you’re navigating infertility and exploring adoption, I want to offer you some encouragement based on my journey and the lessons God has taught me along the way.

1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

One of the most freeing things I learned was that grief and joy can coexist. Adoption doesn’t erase the pain of infertility, and it’s okay to grieve what you’ve lost while stepping forward in faith.

I once wrote, “God is not asking me to pretend I’m not broken or to put on a brave face. He’s asking me to trust Him with my brokenness.” That was such a turning point for me—to bring my heartache to Him and let Him meet me in it.

2. Trust That God is Faithful

During my hardest days, I clung to promises like Isaiah 40:31: “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Even when the waiting felt endless, God was faithful to give me strength for the day and hope for tomorrow.

Looking back, I see how God’s faithfulness carried me through. He didn’t rush the process, but He didn’t leave me alone in it either. And now, as I look at my children, I’m reminded that His plans are always better than anything I could have imagined.

3. Hold Onto Hope

I often say that “the wait is never wasted.” While I didn’t understand it at the time, the season of waiting was where God was shaping my heart to be the mother my children would need. It was hard, but it wasn’t without purpose.

I’ve shared before how God used that season to draw me closer to Him, to refine my character, and to teach me patience and perseverance. Those lessons have carried over into adoption and parenting in so many ways.

4. Find Joy in the Journey

One of the hardest shifts for me was moving from focusing on what I didn’t have to seeing what God was doing. I began asking myself, “What does God want me to learn here?” That mindset didn’t erase the pain, but it opened my heart to gratitude and trust.

Adoption brought so many beautiful moments—moments I wouldn’t have experienced if I had clung to my own plans. God didn’t just meet my longing for children; He exceeded it in ways I couldn’t have dreamed.

5. You’re Not Alone

Whether you’re in the trenches with infertility, just beginning to explore adoption, or deep in the waiting, I want you to know that you’re not alone. I’ve walked this road, and while it’s not always easy, I can tell you it’s worth it.

If I could go back and tell myself one thing during those hard years, it would be this: “God is working, even when it feels like nothing is happening. He is preparing you, your family, and your future child in ways you can’t see yet.”

Encouragement for Your Journey

Infertility may be part of your story, but it doesn’t define it. God is the ultimate author, and He is weaving a story of beauty, redemption, and hope. Adoption isn’t a Plan B—it’s one of the ways He creates families, and it’s filled with His fingerprints.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, I’d love to walk alongside you in this journey. Whether you’re exploring adoption for the first time or looking for encouragement along the way, I’m here to help. Send me an email at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com if you want to learn more about how we help families in their adoption story. You don’t have to walk this road alone.