Adoption Story: Melissa + Holden
I had the immense joy of walking with Holden and Melissa on the journey that led them to their precious TWIN BOYS! The story that led them to their children was not easy, but God was faithful through it all. He provided everything they needed every step of the way. It can be scary stepping into unknown spaces, but they held tight to the truth that God was with them, even at times when they couldn’t see it. Melissa & Holden, thank you for entrusting me to walk with you on this process-it was an honor! Melissa shares their story below, and I know it will be an encouragement to you wherever you are on your adoption journey!
Growing up, I had always loved to think about my future as a wife and mom. To me, they were one and the same…you get married and have children. When my husband and I married, he was in the Marine Corps, so having a child was placed on hold. After five years, we began trying for a baby and quickly realized we needed to seek help. Eventually, we pursued IVF, and God gave us our beautiful baby girl.
Over the next four years, we continued through that process only to suffer loss and miscarriage. When we came to the end of that journey, our hearts were broken. We didn’t understand why God had allowed our heartbreak to continue. Not only did we desire to grow our family, but our daughter was very aware of our most recent loss (I had carried that baby for 9 weeks) and prayed every night for God to give us a child.
My husband had been holding onto the idea of our family adopting, but I was initially hesitant. I had family that had gone through a failed adoption and friends who did foster care. I heard about the heartache they endured, and it initially scared me. But God began to stir my heart and made it clear to me that adoption was His plan for our family.
Not too far from where we live, we noticed two adoption consulting groups, one of which was Christian Adoption Consultants. I contacted them first because I loved that they are faith-based. I was referred to Kelly, and I think we immediately found a bond when she began talking. She showed empathy and concern for our situation right from the start, and that truly spoke volumes to me. When our first call ended, I knew she was sent to us. At that time, I knew our only hiccup would be the financial aspect. We decided that that was something we knew we could trust God with, so it was time to follow through.
I am such a planner, and I can remember just being so overwhelmed from the start of everything that was involved in this process. Kelly was so calming and reassuring as we navigated it together. Every time I’d be about to lose it, she’d be just a call or email away and remind me to take it one step at a time. Once we finally finished the first steps, the agency applications were something I took very seriously. In one of our agency interviews, the lady I spoke with over the phone (having adopted herself) shared a line with me that I repeated to myself more times throughout this process than I could count. She said, “Keep this mindset: It’s not IF you adopt; it’s WHEN you adopt.”
As we began receiving situations and understanding the magnitude of those decisions, we quickly realized how overwhelming this part of the process could be. The constant decisions and prayers…Kelly, again was my backbone throughout. She always guided our thinking by reminding me God knew! He would give peace if it was right, and if He didn’t, then it wasn’t for us. I remember the first no and the grief that came with it. That was followed by many more no’s. As we began to approach the one-year mark with CAC, my heart was truly just broken. All the hopes and dreams were beginning to fade into the questions of if this was really God’s call or just my selfish desires. It’s amazing what Satan can convince us of when we don’t fill our hearts and minds with God’s truths!
At what seemed like the last minute before we’d need to start updating our home study, we received a situation that I really thought was it. Long story short, we received yet another no. Our daughter was about to start school, and we had taken a family trip to the beach to end our summer. While there, I remember just being ready to quit. I was so tired and just had no drive to keep going…but God! God used that time away to renew my heart as I took intentional time with Him. I knew it wasn’t time to give up yet, and I was ready to continue until we got our baby!
Little did I know, just a week later, I’d get a message about twin boys who had just been born. Holden had been hesitant about twins all along, but I had always dreamed of having twins. I didn’t ever want to pressure him into presenting, so I left the decision to him and just prayed. We let Kelly know that night that we wanted to present! That was the beginning of one of the longest months of our lives! Haha! Three weeks later, we had a phone call with their biological mother and were matched! I can remember I sat on the floor during the call because I just couldn’t believe it could be happening. As we spoke with her, she acted as if we were already chosen, and tears streamed down my face throughout the entire call. No words can describe that moment as Holden, and I just sat there in shock, not even knowing if it could really be true!
Over the next three days, there were countless emails, home study updates, attorney calls, packing, shopping, childcare, and travel arrangements, and the list goes on. We left at the end of that week and were able to meet our babies in the NICU the following day. I didn’t know what to expect in those moments, and my emotions were just all over the place. As we sat holding our babies, the reality very slowly began to set in. We had a phone call from the biological father a couple of days after we arrived, and that was another incredible moment of this process. We didn’t really know a lot about him up until that point, but we had such a wonderful conversation, and it definitely was a gift from God. We are grateful for our sons’ Birth Mother and Birth Father. They have entrusted us with their boys forever, and the weight of that decision does not fall lightly on us. We think of them often and pray for them daily.
This process was truly the perfect reminder of God being the author of our story. It’s so easy in life for us to rush or plan or think we have control. But the reality is that while we can attempt all those things, our Father is good and has a much better story planned than anything we can arrange, plan or work to accomplish. It put so much of life into perspective! How incredible that our suffering led us to the greatest blessing. These babies have completed my heart and our family. I wouldn’t trade one step in our journey because they all led us here.
If you aren’t quite where we are on your journey, just keep taking the steps God has called you to. I don’t know your ending, but I do know Who does! And I know that I’ll be grateful every day for the rest of my life that we didn’t give up! He gave us our “expected end” (Jeremiah 29:11). All those no’s were truly so disheartening, but our yes was worth them all.
***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Email me to receive a FREE inquiry packet, and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***