Adoption Story: Waiting to Be Chosen in the Adoption Process

I’m so excited to share Matt and Laura’s adoption story with you today. I was introduced to this sweet couple by one of my other CAC families, and I had the privilege of walking with them through the adoption process as they began presenting to situations. Like many hopeful adoptive families, their journey was filled with waiting, uncertainty, and hearing “no” more times than they could count. My heart ached every time I had to send the email that said, “I’m so sorry… the expectant mother has chosen another family.” I knew their story. I knew their heart. And I knew how deeply they longed to become parents.

But they never gave up. Through fear, doubt, questions—and even a pandemic—they continued to move forward, trusting God in the waiting. Their adoption story is such a powerful reminder that even when the process feels discouraging, your “yes” can come when you least expect it. Today, they share the journey that led them to their baby boy.

When we first started talking about adoption, we really had no idea what to expect. We certainly had preconceived notions of what we thought it would be like. We had friends who were trying to adopt so we reached out to them for advice and guidance. They told us they were using Christian Adoption Consultants and were working with Kelly Todd. Since we really had no idea about consultants we asked them more questions and got a lot of details from them. We also researched some other consulting agencies and made a note of the ones we wanted to speak with.

After talking to various consulting groups we connected with Kelly at CAC. We really enjoyed getting to know her and more about the adoption process. Kelly really helped us along the way with our home study agency, applying with agencies, providing us with adoption education and giving us guidance on different situations that were presented to us.

One of our first steps was getting our home study completed. We were so nervous about this. Was our house big enough, clean enough, safe enough? Would having pets be an issue? Then came the deeper issues - would we be good enough parents? Would having a smaller family group pose issues? All valid things I feel like most adoptive families go through.

Once we were home study approved we could begin showing our beautiful profile book to expectant families. The first situation we presented to was an expectant mom who was due at the end of October. We were so excited about presenting to her and we thought it would be the perfect match. We felt a personal connection to her story and the information that was sent to us. We crafted a personal letter to her and then a couple days later we got the email.

She didn’t pick us.

That was heart wrenching. I cried immediately. And for a day or two. It was hard. It was difficult. It was something we needed to go through. And we did. Many more times.

We got to the point where we questioned everything. Are we not good enough? Is there something wrong with us? Should we redo our profile book? What can we do differently? Do we take new pictures? We felt like we just weren’t good enough to be parents. We felt like no one wanted us to be the parents of their precious baby. That hurt.

We were coming up on eight months of being active and we were starting to reach out to our home study agency about updating our home study and beginning that process when we received another situation. We reviewed all the information and thought it would be a good situation for us to apply to. Then, the call came.

The expectant family picked someone else.

We were again disappointed. All those thoughts came back, like they did every time. Why aren’t we good enough?

A few weeks later we received a phone call from an unknown number. We didn’t need any new warranties on our cars so we didn’t answer it. When we listened to the voicemail we found out it was the adoption agency from the previous expectant family. They were calling to tell us that we were picked afterall. The expectant family wanted us to raise their baby. A baby boy that was going to be born in 10 days!

We didn’t have much. Our friends that we mentioned before had given us so many things - a crib, mattress, tons of clothes, swings, mats, toys, etc. But we didn’t have anything else. So we hurried up and got on Amazon and ordered way more than we thought we would need. We drove the 16 hours to the birth family and waited for this beautiful, perfect baby to be born.

Then, a whole new set of questions came. What if she changes her mind? What if she decides she doesn’t want us afterall? What if we don’t get to bring him home?

Two days after he was born we could go see our baby in the hospital. Of course, since it was during Covid we could only go into the hospital one at a time. Matt would spend mornings with him and I would go in the afternoon to see him. After being in the hospital for six days we were finally given the okay to bring him back to our AirBnB. We waited for ICPC to clear (it only took a couple days; it was a holiday weekend, too). Then we headed back home with the newest member of our family.

Adoption has proven over and over to have many ups and downs. We cried. A lot. We had our hearts broken. A lot. We questioned everything. A lot. But in the end we became the parents to this amazing, miracle baby that we love beyond measure. He has become the pride and joy of our days. Covid has done a lot of damage and brought a lot of bad things, but the silver lining in all of it for us is that we brought our baby home. And the kicker - we’ve been doing a lot of working from home so our little guy gets to spend his days with both his mom and dad.

Thinking about adoption? I’d love to help. Fill out the short form here to receive my free adoption information packet and get access to my online adoption library with 20+ posts and videos that walk you through the process. You’ll also have the opportunity to schedule a free 30-minute call where we can talk through your questions and what this journey could look like for your family.