When You Feel Like Giving Up on Adoption: Encouragement for the Waiting

We’re exhausted. We’ve presented more times than we can count. We prayed about pursuing adoption for years before we even started the process. Why would God lead us here only to be met with ‘no’ after ‘no,’ delays, and disappointments? Did we miss something?”

If you’ve found yourself asking these questions in the middle of the adoption process, you’re not alone. Many hopeful adoptive families reach a point in the waiting where they feel discouraged, confused, and ready to give up. As an Adoption Consultant, I’ve walked with families through this exact place—and I’ve been there myself. If that’s where you are today, I want to gently remind you of a few truths to hold onto as you keep moving forward.

1. God has not forgotten you. Sometimes when things aren't working out like we expected they would we can be tempted to think that God has forgotten about us. But that is not the truth. It may feel really true to us, but we can't always trust our feelings. Our feelings change a lot and are often moved by our circumstances. But God and His Word remain constant. God has not promised that the road He has called us to will be easy, but He has promised that He will always be with us.

"And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." (Matthew 28:20, NIV)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you" (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)

2. God is in control. "Through our union with Christ we too have been claimed by God as his own inheritance. Before we were even born, he gave us our destiny; that we would fulfill the plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in his heart"(Ephesian 1:11, TPT). As Christians, isn't this comforting to rest our minds and hearts on? Isn't this truth freeing to cling to? It's freeing to think about the fact that we can't "slip outside" of God's plans for our life. Friends, you can't mess up or miss out on the plans God has for your family...not in the adoption process and not in any aspect of your life.

3. God is working all things out for your good. If you are believer you can rest in this knowledge. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28, NIV). The "good" here that Paul is referring to might not be in agreement with our understanding of "good." My kids love Krispy Kreme donuts and would probably eat 3 every day if I let them. But doing so would not be good for them. Ask God to help you trust that He who knows all and sees all, knows what is best for us, even when it doesn't coincide and align with our thoughts.

4. God is faithful to equip you with everything you need to accomplish everything that He has called you to. Our God is a very present God. He isn't somewhere off in the sky, twiddling His fingers, just hoping His children figure it out on their own. He is with us. He has sent us the Holy Spirit, our Helper. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19, NIV). Are you weary from the adoption process? Do you feel like giving up? Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a renewed hope and perspective. Ask the Holy Spirit to comfort you and strengthen you every step of the way. He is faithful.

Friends, I understand the adoption process is exhausting, confusing, and filled with ups and downs. But I also know and have seen how God creates beautiful stories out of really difficult times. I wish I could tell you that I know exactly how your story will unfold. I don't. But I know the One who does. When you feel like giving up, remember the One who called you to this journey in the first place. He will see you through.

Thinking about adoption? I’d love to help. Fill out the short form here to receive my free adoption information packet and get access to my online adoption library with 20+ posts and videos that walk you through the process. You’ll also have the opportunity to schedule a free 30-minute call where we can talk through your questions and what this journey could look like for your family.