Explaining Infertility & Unanswered Prayers To A Child
Last night my son proposed a question during our bedtime prayers. "Mommy, why can't you grow a baby in your belly? I want to be a big brother." I reminded him about his twin sister, Ruby, who is one minute younger than him. "You are a big brother, buddy!" He didn't relent. "But I want to be a really big brother. You know what I mean." I did know. I knew exactly what he meant. He wanted more siblings. He continued, "Do you think if I pray really hard, God will put a baby in your belly?" My heart sank. I looked into his hopeful, faith-filled, "I-believe-my-God-can-do-anything," beautiful brown eyes and said, "You can talk to God about anything, buddy. He's always there to listen."
I never imagined I would be having discussions about my infertility and unanswered prayers with my 7-year-old son, but there we were.
"Do you remember how we talked about the cancer I had when I was a little baby?"
"You mean that boo-boo in your belly?"
"Yep. Well, because of that boo-boo, I haven't been able to grow a baby in my belly."
"But why can't God just make your boo-boo better? He's made your other boo-boos better."
"You know He has. And I've talked to God a lot about that. Mommy's cried a lot about that to Him because sometimes I don't understand."
"Yeah. I don't either."
"But it's okay not to understand things and be sad about things because, you know what?"
"What?"
"God knows, and God understands. Sometimes God answers our prayers exactly how we pray them, and sometimes He answers them in a different way. But one thing I know for sure is that God loves our family so much."
"It still makes me sad."
"That's okay to be sad. Sometimes I get sad too."
As parents, we won't always have the answers to our children's questions, but there is healing and great comfort in being able to sit with them and say, "You know I don't understand either. I'm sad too. We can be sad together." And as we sit with them in the sadness that comes with living on the other side of the Fall where brokenness and pain reside, we can also lift their chin to the most powerful truth: God loves them, and He will never leave them.