I Want More of You God

Roman and Ruby have entered another level of what I like to call, "Mommy, I want to be near you every second of every single day." From am to pm, I think they would love if they could live their toddler lives glued (literally) to my hip. When they get up in the morning Ruby says, "Mommy, can I hold you?" and Roman asks, "Mommy, can you snuggle for me?" When I leave the room for one second and come back, Roman jumps into my lap and says, "Oh mommy, I missed you so much!"

One of my prayers to God everyday for the past few months has been, "I want more of you God." I have spent so much time on my hands and knees praying that God would grow my heart closer to His. I find it interesting in this season where I have been asking this from God, that He has granted me little reminders right in front of me of the type of desire I have been pleading for God to grow in my heart towards Him. I know I'm not God, so I am not equoting my relationship with my children to mine with my heavenly Father, but it has definitely served as a reminder to me.

They just want to be near their mommy. They just want to sit in my lap. They just want me to sing them another song. They just want to hear me say, "I love you." They just want to spend time with me. They just want more of me.

Sometimes, for many of us, we think of God as being disconnected from His children emotionally. But that is a lie. After all, God created all of our emotions and He isn't immune to having them. He is very much in tune with His affections towards His children and let me tell you His love is BIG for us.

In our pursuit of knowledge about God we can be tempted to forget the original purpose in the pursuit. "If our learning and knowledge of God doesn't lead to the joyful praise of God, we have failed" (Sam Storms). In other words if our theology of God doesn't create in us a heart that wants to spend more time with Jesus and sit in His presence, if it doesn't set a fire in our hearts to joyfully pursue more of God, than that "gaining of knowledge" is in vain and self-serving. Thank goodness for His grace upon grace because I'm guilty of doing this. And yet even still, I'm thankful for God's faithfulness to me and giving me these sweet, snuggly little reminders that just want to sit in mommy's lap. Oh Father, that I could have those childlike affections towards you.