Adoption Story: Cody + Bristi

I remember the very first time I spoke with Bristi on the phone. She was kind, funny, friendly, and so open about their life and how they came to the adoption process. We instantly bonded over the fact that both of our husband’s were in the ministry! Cody and Bristi were chosen by their son’s birth mother 6 months after their home study was completed. They brought their son, Cainan, home with them a few months later. It was such a joy and an honor to walk with them through the adoption process. Bristi has shared their adoption story with such honesty and vulnerability. I know you will be encouraged as you read her words below.

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Before my husband and I ever talked about marriage we talked about how we wanted to adopt one day. I (Bristi) have wanted to adopt for as long as I can remember. After having 3 biological children, we felt that God was encouraging us to start the adoption process. We had absolutely no idea where to start. God placed a couple of families in our church that had used Christian Adoption Consultants, so we decided to look into that. After we applied we got a phone call from Kelly Todd. We honestly had no clue what we were doing and Kelly was so patient and able to answer all of our questions and help guide us through the process. We used CAC for all of our paperwork and to create our profile book, which was a huge help! Any questions we had when it came to whether or not to present to a situation were answered and we never felt like we needed to doubt the advice that was given us. Kelly made it feel like we were talking to a close friend who had been through this before and knew the ins and outs of it all.

We went active in April and had high hopes of being matched quickly. After the first “no” we started to doubt that any expectant mom would choose us because we already had 3 biological children. Satan likes to use any seed of doubt he can. We presented to three or four situations and all of them were “no’s” and we started to doubt that God had even called us to adopt. We received a situation over a holiday weekend while we were out of town. When we saw it, we both immediately wanted to present. That next week we got a phone call from the agency and I answered my phone, expecting a no, but instead were told she had chosen us! I was speechless and couldn’t hold the tears back. I called my husband who was at work and we both sat on the phone in silent shock. Although the wait wasn’t easy, we knew that God’s timing was perfect. After the shock wore off we remember being nervous and excited all at the same time! We got the opportunity to Skype with our son’s birth mom a few times before heading down to meet them in December for his birth.

The waiting period leading up to December was not easy and had plenty of emotions to go with it, but it was nothing compared to the birth of our son. There were so many ups and downs. I was honored to be in the delivery room with our son’s birth mom for the c-section. I will always keep those moments etched into my mind as they are very sacred and special. Seeing our son’s birth mother make one of the most difficult decisions of her life was heart wrenching.

During this time we wanted to make sure she knew how amazing and strong she was regardless of what she decided, as we knew he wasn’t our son until consents were signed. That time of waiting was more difficult than we anticipated. Our case worker at the agency was great at helping us to know when to be with our son’s birth mom and when to let her have her time. We were able to have our own room in the hospital, which was such a sweet blessing.

The day she was supposed to sign was such a difficult day. We knew it was going to be extremely hard for her. Kelly was so sweet to be on standby to pray. We were a nervous wreck. Knowing that the sweet baby boy that we had grown to love more than anything in the last two days could potentially not be ours was almost more than we could handle, but at the same time we couldn’t even imagine all of the heavy emotions she was going through. But then we got the call. We got the call from our case worker saying that she had signed and we could come get our son from the hospital. It was surreal walking back into the hospital after everything that had happened that day, but everyone was so accommodating and compassionate towards us that all of the nervous, anxious feeling we had melted away.

Words fail to express how grateful we are for our son’s birth mother. The love she has shown us has been incredible. We are blown away by her strength and selflessness. We truly love our son’s birth mother and see her as a part of our family. She has given us the sweetest, most wonderful gift we could have ever dreamed of. We have an open adoption and get messages from her around every 3 months. We plan to visit her after the new year. Our son, Cainan, has been such a blessing to our entire family. Our kids love being his big brother and sister! He is so loved!

A big thank you to CAC and Kelly Todd for walking with us through this journey. If you are considering adoption and don’t know where to start, start with CAC. The guidance you will receive is priceless. The process is overwhelming and can be very stressful at times, but in the end it is more than worth it and with CAC by your side it helps share the load. We would do it all again if God calls us to, and we wouldn’t hesitate to use CAC!

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***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Running To Jesus With Childlike Faith

The other day I’m not sure exactly what happened or who was responsible (the story of a twin toddler mama’s life, really). My best guess is that Roman chucked a dinosaur at Ruby because they were fighting over who got to play with the T-rex or “daddy dinosaur,” as my son refers to it. Ruby came screaming into the kitchen with tears running down her cheeks and one hand holding the other for me to examine, “Hurt my hand, mama. Make it better?” I got down on both knees, looked into her beautiful brown eyes and asked, “What happened, baby?” Through tears streaming down her face and a runny nose she explained, “Bubby hurt it.” I knew exactly what she wanted. She came to mama because she remembered that mama always kisses her boo-boos and makes them better. And so, I did what I always do when sissy gets a boo-boo. I kissed her little hand and said, “All better now.” She repeated with a big smile, while wiping her tears with her little kiss-mended hand, “All better now! Thanks Mama!”

Last night Roman tripped over a gate in our living room and came crying to me with his arms wide open, waiting for me to pick him up, waiting for me to wipe his tears, as he whimpered “hold me, mama.” In that moment, nothing would do but his mama-not his nigh, nigh, not his daddy dinosaur, not his Cruz 3 car toy, not even his favorite movie, “The Land Before Time.” In that moment, Roman knew that the only thing that would make his boo-boo better, the only thing that would calm his fears, was letting me scoop him up into my arms, kiss his wet cheeks and wipe his tears.

My children know who their mommy and daddy are. They know mommy and daddy will comfort them when they are scared. They know mommy and daddy will pick them up when they fall down. They know mommy and daddy will provide for them. They know when mommy and daddy make a promise they will keep it. They know when mommy and daddy say they will do something they can count on it. They know mommy and daddy have their best interest at heart. They know mommy and daddy’s love for them is unconditional and there is nothing on this earth they could ever do or say to lose it. They know mommy and daddy aren’t perfect and they make mistakes, but my children know there is always room for grace and forgiveness.

Our twins fierce confidence and reliance on their father and I continually teach me about the Gospel and my relationship with God. When Roman reaches out for me there is not one doubt or question in his mind that I’m going to pick him up and wrap my arms around him. He is absolutely and 100% certain that I’m going to follow through.

I wish I shared that same unwavering confidence and childlike faith in my heavenly Father. I know that God keeps His promises. I know that God is a good and kind Father, who only has the best in store for His children. I know that He is my peace, my hope, my joy, my comforter, my rock and my sustainer. But sometimes I sense a strong disconnect from what I know to be true in my head and the fickle feelings, pride and fears encompassing my heart. Like Roman, I long to run to my heavenly Father instead of worldly and at best temporary fixes, with complete confidence and trust that God is who He says He is. Because at the end of the day my inability to do so is a mere reflection of my heart and doubt towards the very nature and character of God. If I believe that God is who He says He is, than what prevents me from running to Him, like Ruby, with that childlike trust? Why do I (we) continue running to temporary Band-Aids to fix our boo-boos when we have 24/7 access to the Ultimate Healer, Protector, Redeemer, Comforter, Sustainer, Creator of The Universe, All-Powerful, All-Knowing, Immutable, Merciful, Omnipotent, Grace and Life-Giving Father?

The answer? One three letter word: Sin.

Like a stubborn teenager, who disregards their parents because they mistakenly believe they know it all, we stop running to God and we stop seeking His counsel. And in our pride, arrogance and complacency we attempt to trudge through the waters on our own. We forget. We forget that we are a child in need of our heavenly Father. But, our God never forgets. Our Father knows what we need. He never leaves our side even when we act too big for our britches. He isn’t scared away by our big feelings or when we struggle with unbelief or doubt. He doesn’t shy away when we struggle to come to Him with our boo-boos or our sin. His grace covers all things and His love will never let us go.

So how do we stop running to temporary Band-Aids to fix our boo-boos? How do we run to God with unwavering confidence and complete trust that He is who He says He is? We recognize we can’t do anything a part from the grace that God provides. We repent of our sin. We come to God with our doubt, fears, failures, shortcomings, and yes, our boo-boos, and we lay them all down at the foot of the cross. And then, we ask Him to help us. We ask Him to do what only He can do-help us believe.