Waiting in Adoption: Will Our Yes Ever Come?

As an adoption consultant, I’ve had the privilege of walking with many families through every stage of the adoption process—from the very beginning of their journey to the moment they bring their baby home. It is such an honor to come alongside families in this way.

One of the most emotionally difficult parts of the adoption process is the time between presenting your profile and waiting for an expecting mother to make her decision. It’s a season filled with hope, anticipation, and often deep disappointment.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Will our ‘yes’ ever come?”—you are not alone.

When a family receives a situation, they begin thinking about what could be. It’s difficult not to imagine what their future may hold. While they are waiting on an answer, they begin praying for this expectant mama and her unborn child. Minutes turn to hours. Hours turn to days. Still no answer. They continue thinking about what could be. Then, they receive an answer: “She chose to move forward with another family.”

It feels like an emotional roller coaster.

Hopeful adoptive families are some of the most courageous people I know. They continue journeying through this process even through the disappointment, heartache, unknowns and uncertainty. They keep on pressing forward and holding onto hope. Their faith inspires me. That's why I thought it would be helpful to include thoughts from a few of my past families at Christian Adoption Consultants who have had the same doubts and questions as some of you.

I pray their words are an encouragement to you today.

"I can’t tell you how many conversations we had with Kelly Todd, our adoption consultant with CAC, asking her 'What’s wrong with us? What could we do differently? What can we change?' She would always reassure us and remind us to trust in God’s plan and His timing. But after a while this is difficult to hear. Kris and I questioned our decision to pursue this adoption. We questioned things, such as 'Are we too old? Do we have too many other children?' I remember asking Kelly during one of our many conversations, "How do we know when enough is enough? How do we know that we have followed the right path?' As I sobbed on the phone, she again said 'Renee, you have to trust that God has a plan for you.' At this point I was questioning every aspect of our current situation. But then we got a call that would change our lives forever. Although our journey wasn't easy, every 'no' led us to our daughter. We are so grateful for the story God has written for our family.”
-Kris & Renee

"The first few times we presented we were met with 'She has decided to move ahead with another family.' It was incredibly disappointing. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with us. While presenting to one particular situation and awaiting the expectant mother’s decision, I remember feeling defeated. I remember sitting on our couch crying and I looked at Michael and said, 'I just want a yes.' I don’t think we are ever going to get one.' The next day we received a phone call that the expectant mama had chosen us! She said “yes” to us! We were matched! Unfortunately, within just a few weeks, our match failed. Our hearts were shattered. Our 'yes' turned into a painful 'no.' Our families told us to take time, that we needed a break. Others told us it was okay to stop trying. I kneeled on the floor of this beautiful nursery in our new home and sobbed. I had been thinking all along that I was believing and trusting in God and in that moment I knew I had not. Not really. I wanted God to give me MY gift the way I wanted it in MY time. Something about that failed match lit a fire inside of both of us. We were finally 'all in.' No more fear, no more analyzing or assessing, no more trying to control, no more forcing. Just trusting. Just saying 'yes' to God, down whatever road He would have us go. Just a few weeks later we found out that an expectant mama we were presenting to had chosen us. Being scared would have been the easiest thing to do, but we had vowed to choose faith over fear, so we did. With hope and joy, we gave our hearts to this expectant mama. Less than seven weeks later, she laid her heart, in the form of her beautiful newborn baby girl, in our arms."
-Chelsey & Michael

"Every tear we shed in our desire for a child, God was right there, loving us, and wanting us to turn to Him. Though this timeline is not what we expected, we are so grateful that God loved us enough to do what’s best for us. We would encourage anyone who is pursuing adoption to persevere in hope, trust Him in painful and uncertain moments, and seek His heart and will for you. If you do these things, you and your story will be in His hands, and there is no better place to be." -Jim & Julie

When you are knee deep in a sea of unknowns and uncertainty it's difficult to have hope. When you are surrounded by feelings of discouragement, it's difficult to think about what could be. As an adoption consultant, I have walked with many families through many “no’s.” Never once did I hear them say that time wasn’t difficult. But let me tell you this: I have also never once heard a family ever say they regret what they went through to get to their child. I know all of my families would agree that every "no" was worth it because it led them to God's "yes" for their family. Hold on, friends. Hold on to hope. Hold on to God. He will never let you down.

Thinking about adoption? I’d love to help. Fill out the short form here to receive my free adoption information packet and get access to my online adoption library with 20+ posts and videos that walk you through the process. You’ll also have the opportunity to schedule a free 30-minute call where we can talk through your questions and what this journey could look like for your family.