A Letter To The Hopeful Adoptive Family

Dear Hopeful Adoptive Family,

I can’t imagine everything you must be thinking and feeling right now. And I’m so very sorry your loss. I wish there were perfect words I could formulate into existence that would erase your pain, but I’m not naïve in this arena. I’ve walked with other families through failed adoptions and I know words can be powerful, but they can’t do that. And knowing that, truly knowing that, devastates me to my core.

I wish I could make this better for you. I wish I could mend your broken heart. I wish I could put all of the pieces back together again. I wish I could make sense of this situation for you. I wish I could pull you out of the storm and make the sun shine again. I wish I could restore hope to your heart in this very moment of your pain. But I can’t. I can’t. And it breaks my heart.

But I’m here for you. I want you to know, dear friend, that even though I can do none of those things, I will be here for you. I will be here when you need a friend to listen and cry with over the phone. I will be here to remind you that you have every right to feel all of the heavy things you are feeling- even when and especially when they don’t make sense. I will be here to remind you to take time to grieve, as what happened is in every sense of the word a loss. I will be here to remind you that others may not understand this type of loss. And as a result make trite remarks like, “It will happen one day” or “It ‘s okay. It will all work out.” But I will be your soundboard. I will remind you that it’s quite “okay” to acknowledge that in this season things couldn’t feel further from seeming like they are going to “work out.”

But as you grieve I will also be your voice of hope, reminding you that you are not alone. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:8) And even though in this moment it may feel like your story is over or that God has forgotten you, I will be here to remind you He has not forgotten you. And your story is not over.

Although I don’t understand why some things unfold the way that they do, I know that our God is faithful. And He will never leave you (Deuteronomy 31:6). I know our God is the great Comforter. And He promises to comfort those who are hurting (1 Corinthians 1:3-5). I know God is the great Healer. And I know He is faithful and committed to healing your heart and your mind (Psalms 30:2). I know that God is your Helper. (Psalm 46:1) And He will guide you through the days to come, every step of the way.

And although I cannot put all of the pieces back together for you, I know the One who can. He is the Great Physician, who restores hope and makes broken things whole again and gives beauty for ashes.

With Love and Prayers,

Kelly Todd,

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 ***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Encouragement For The Waiting Room

Last fall I was diagnosed with cancer again. Although I’m healed and healthy today, I spent many hours in the waiting room. As a childhood cancer survivor, I’ve grown more than accustomed to waiting. Waiting to be seen by doctors. Waiting to hear back about a biopsy. Waiting to get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. Waiting to find out the final diagnosis.

In November while I was laying in a big, noisy machine, waiting for the MRI to be finished, I was thinking about how waiting rooms aren’t just spaces for cancer patients. All of us have our own waiting room experiences. Maybe you’ve been hoping for years to see a positive pregnancy test. Maybe you’ve been told no a dozen times by expectant mothers in the adoption process. Perhaps you are waiting to hear back from the doctor on some major health issues. Maybe you’ve been praying for years asking and pleading with God for that “one thing.” They might not look all the same, but they all entail waiting with a sense of uncertainty.

As an adoption consultant with CAC, I work with many families who are in their own kind of waiting room. Some of them have been there longer than others, but all have endured a sense of unknown about their journey at one point or another. I’ve been there before too. It’s difficult. Sometimes it feels as if you’re on a roller coaster of emotions. It can be exhausting. It’s difficult to trust God when we don’t know where our journey will take us. But, that’s what He calls us to do. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) One of the (many) things I’ve learned through spending time in the “waiting room” is that God doesn’t leave us to ourselves. He is right there with us, holding our hand. He is a good Father who loves us more than our earthly minds will ever be able to comprehend.

I’ve compiled some encouraging Bible verses, quotes, songs and blog posts that have provided a sense of hope to me during times of uncertainty. I’ve clung to many of these truths during times of despair. I’ve sat in the waiting room and soaked my pillow listening to and praying through some of these songs. It is my prayer and hope that wherever you are in your journey, your soul would be encouraged as you reflect upon these words and promises that are true for you.

TRUTHS
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” 
-Isaiah 40:28-31

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope..." 
-Psalm 130:5

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." 
-Isaiah 55:8 

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
-Ephesians 3:20-21

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
-Isaiah 41:10

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
-Joshua 1:9 

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES

BLOG POSTS:

God is Working In Your Waiting 

The Unwelcome Gift of Waiting 

The Wait is Never Wasted 

THE WAITING ROOM PLAYLIST

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Adoption & The Unknown Spaces

I’ve always lived in the unknown spaces in some respect. As a childhood and adult cancer survivor, I’ve spent my share of time waiting for answers from doctors, pathologists, surgeons and test results. In some ways I can see how waiting in the unknown spaces helped prepare me for some of what was to come in our adoption journey. As a former client of CAC and an adoption consultant, I know first-hand how difficult the journey can be. Those who have walked through the process before can testify to the fact that there are so many unknowns throughout every stage of the adoption process. 

Researching Adoption 
The unknown spaces greet you as soon as you begin researching adoption. “Who should we should we work with? An agency? An attorney? An adoption consultant? What type of questions should we be asking? How will we afford it? How do we know this agency/attorney is trustworthy? How long will it take? What’s a home study and why do we need one?” When my husband and I began researching adoption we quickly became overwhelmed and realized we didn’t know much about the process other than our desire to adopt. After calling a few different adoption agencies, we ultimately made the decision to move forward with Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC). We were so thankful that we had an adoption consultant who was holding our hand and guiding us through the entire process from start to finish. The unknown spaces became more manageable and less daunting because our consultant was constantly educating us on the process, answering our questions (we had a ton!) and providing helpful resources to us throughout our journey. 

Home Study Providers 
When you are beginning the home study questions may enter your head such as, “What is entailed in a home study? What kind of stuff will they be asking us about? How long will it take? How do I know I can trust this home study provider?” At CAC we connect our families with reputable home study providers in their state. The thought of a social worker coming into your home can seem a little intimidating at first because you don’t know what to expect. At CAC we help ease some of the unknowns and fears through addressing home study related questions and providing tips and advice on what to expect so that you feel more prepared going into your first interview. 

 Creative Financing Ideas 
The financial cost of adoption can prevents many from beginning the adoption process, but it doesn’t have to. “Where will the money come from? How will be able to afford adoption?” At CAC you are never left to figure out things on your own, as we provide our family with a list of low interest/ no interest adoption loans, adoption grants and fundraising ideas that have assisted thousands of families in raising funds for their adoption. I could share story after story of God’s faithfulness in providing for of our families. 

 Adoption Family Profile Book
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin!” This is one of the most common statements I hear when discussing a profile book with a family. The profile book is one of the most important pieces of the adoption process because it’s the only information an expectant mama will have to make her decision on. We have years of experience in creating beautiful and unique profile books for our families and we know what agencies and expectant/birth families are looking for. 

Applying to Agencies/Attorneys
If you were to do a google search for “adoption agencies” hundreds and hundreds of agencies will pop-up. You won’t be able to tell just by looking which ones provide ethical services and this is such an important aspect of the adoption process. At CAC our families have access to our thoroughly vetted agency list. Based on a family’s adoption preferences, we help eliminate some of the uncertainty in recommending which ones to apply to. We also are available to answer any questions that may arise about the agencies and attorneys.

 Adoption Risk Assessment 
Whatever route you choose to grow your family there will always be risk involved. Adoption is no exception. But at CAC you are not without our guidance. Our support team of 20 adoption professionals have over 120 years of combined experience. We’ve also assisted our families with 2,500 + adoptions. Our “doors” have been open since 2006 and we’ve learned a lot along the way. Therefore, we are equipped to help our families weigh the risks of every situation. Our team of adoption consultants have been trained to follow our company’s high standards and guidelines for ethical adoption practices. When my husband and I started seeing situations we were so grateful to have an adoption consultant point out risks to us that we otherwise would have been clueless about! 

Waiting  
There are ebbs and flows in adoption. Though our families do see more situations than others who are only working with one agency that does not always mean our families see situations every day or every week. However, because of our multi-agency approach our families do get more exposure and opportunities than if they were only working with one agency/attorney. When things feel a little more “ebbing” than “flowing” in the adoption process, in the unknown spaces it can be tempting to think God has forgotten you. But, He hasn’t. God is writing your story. It may not meet up with the timeline you had in mind, but I promise His plan for your family is good. His plan for your family is best. 

Hearing “No” 
Hearing “no” is never easy and can feel extremely discouraging at times. In the unknown it can be easy to think, “Are we ever going to get chosen? Is something wrong with our family?” Something I continually share with my families is “every no is leading to your yes.” Once you are holding your baby in your arms all of those “no’s” will finally makes sense, and the wait will be worth it! 

Hearing “Yes” (Matched)
It has finally happened-an expectant mother has chosen you to be the parents of her little one! This is a very exciting, overwhelming and emotional time. But, even still, I’ve heard families say this can be difficult time of waiting in the unknown. Thoughts like, “What if the expectant mother decides to parent? How should we be communicating with the expectant mother? What can we say? What should we not say?” I’m so grateful my husband and I had an amazing consultant who was able to address these questions for us and help speak truth into our fears. 

Traveling, Hospital & ICPC 
There can be so many unknowns during this time. At CAC we provide our families with information regarding travel, places to stay, packing list, hospital etiquette, and post- partum communication. We also provide our families with education on what to expect during ICPC. 

At CAC we cannot eliminate all of the unknowns in adoption-no adoption professional can. Although we can speak truth into many of your fears, there will always be some aspects of adoption that are just uncertain. Though I do not know how or when your story will unfold, I do know the One who does. Because I know my God has a plan and purpose for all things (Ephesians 1:11), I know that these unknown spaces are not wasted in adoption and are part of His good and loving plan for your family. Learning to trust Him in the unknown is a sanctifying process and one I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ve learned that that these unknown spaces in life are very sacred moments where God continually draws us closer to Himself. Even though this will be difficult my prayer for you is to not wish away this time and trust God with your story. Dig deep into God’s word, prayer and seek out what He is teaching you through the unknown. Though the uncertainty and difficulty of this process may not make much sense to you now, I’m confident it will one day. 

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Kelly Todd, at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Remembering God's Fingerprints In Your Life

The other night, after I sang my sweet 2 year old baby girl to sleep, I walked into her twin brother's room to tuck him in. I laid on the floor with my arm around him on his new, big boy, toddler bed. I was exhausted from the day and thought perhaps I could get away with just singing one verse of his favorite song. After I finished and I tried to get up, he wouldn't let me go. He wrapped his little arm around my neck, pulled me in close, and said, "No mama, song! Stay. Snuggle." He was so confident that mommy would stay with him and sing a few more songs because He knows me and that's what I do every other night. My heart melted into a puddle right there on the floor as I continued singing to him and watched him slowly drift off to sleep.

I don't have to look too far back in my life to see God's fingerprints and be reminded of His provision and faithfulness. But unlike my son, who can remember how many songs I sing to him every night, sometimes I forget. Can you relate? After 430 years in slavery (Exodus 12:40), God delivered the Israelites out of Egypt and out from under Pharaoh's rule in a mighty display of His power, dominion and glory. He sent 10 horrendous plagues, parted the Red Sea allowing the Israelites to escape from slavery into freedom, and when they were hungry God made bread fall from the sky (literally) (Exodus 16:4). But, they quickly forgot, complained and traded in the promises of God for broken cisterns that could not satisfy. And 2,000 years later, not really all that much has changed. We still behave like the Israelites who completely forgot and dismissed what the Lord did and said because our present circumstances aren't quite unfolding the way we expect them too. 

Francis Chan refers to the forgetfulness of God's promises and provisions as spiritual amnesia, an epidemic that none of us are immune to. You may be thinking, "If spiritual amnesia is inevitable than what can I do?" The author of Hebrews continually reminded them, "We must pay the most careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away (Hebrews 2:1). And again in Hebrews 3:6 and 3:14 he encourages them to "hold onto their original confidence." Why would the author continually remind the Israelites to hold onto what they already know to be true?  He knew they needed to be continually reminded to REMEMBER what God has done and REMEMBER what God has said. The author of Hebrews knew the antidote for spiritual amnesia: remembering.

1. Remembering what God has said. As a Christian, spending time with God in His word and through prayer are vital to your spiritual health. But, how can you remember what you do not know? As a busy wife, twin mom and adoption consultant, I'm constantly struggling to prioritize my schedule in such a way that allows for time in the Word and prayer. It's tough and I'm sure it's an art I will always be growing in. But, what a difference spending time in the Word does for my soul! During times of sickness, uncertainty, tragedy, doubt, loss, worry, fear, sadness, broken relationships, etc., God's promises come to mind because I've buried them in my heart through continual reading and remembering.  Promises such as:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." -Isaiah 43:2

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..." -Ephesians 3:20

2. Remembering what God has done.  In Joshua 3 we see how God, once again, parted the waters which provided access for the Israelites to walk through the Jordan River onto dry land.  They placed 12 stones from the riverbed and stacked them on the other side (Joshua 4), which served as a reminder to them and others of God's faithfulness and provision.  I believe God places "Stones of Remembrance" in our life because He knows we are prone to forget. Remembering what God has done in our past, give us hope and confidence to trust Him with our future. Can you think of any "stones of remembrance" in your life or perhaps a time you remember where God was with you in a very tangible way?

• Remember how God sustained you through a very difficult time.

• Remember how God healed you or a loved one from physical illness.

• Remember how God saved you from your sin and brought you into new life.

• Remember how God provided for you in a very specific way.

• Remember how God comforted you through a time of loss.

Roman and Ruby cry in the middle of the night because they know mommy and daddy are coming to rock them back to sleep. Roman runs towards me with arms wide open from across the room because he is confident that I will catch him! Ruby points out her "boo boo" to us because she knows we will make it better.  How can they be so sure that we will follow through? Our children know us and their confidence in our response comes through remembering.

Whether you're sitting in the unknown and waiting, struggling with physical illness, trying to mend a broken relationship, experiencing financial issues, struggling with infertility or loss, dealing with the death of a loved one or in the process of adopting a child, whatever your circumstance may be; my prayer for you is that you would remember to remember. Remember what God has said. Remember what God has done. As stories of God's faithfulness come to mind and you look back on His fingerprints in your life, I hope it will provide you with strength and confidence to trust Him with your present circumstances and your future.

5 Ways You Can Be More Connected During the Adoption Process

My husband and I had recently started our home study and I was feeling a bit disconnected from the adoption process. I was very excited about the journey we were on, but there were times when it felt more like an idea than a reality to me. When you're pregnant there are constant reminders that your baby is on the way: positive pregnancy test, morning sickness, weird cravings, belly bump, movement from the little one growing inside your belly, sonogram, etc. I was sharing this struggle with my friend and I will never forget the advice she gave me. "Kelly, I think there are many ways you can be more connected during the adoption process. Have you ever thought about starting a prayer journal where you pray specifically for the expectant mother and her baby?”  1. Journaling. We had been praying about our journey and for our child's expectant mother for quite awhile, but there is something special about putting pen to paper. And so, I started journaling about our process. I started writing down my specific prayers for the expectant mother and her little one. Even though we hadn’t been matched at the time, God knew who she was. I prayed that God would give her strength and that she would feel His peace. There were days I remembering praying specifically that if she was having a difficult day that God would remind her of His love in a tangible way-a way she could actually see and recognize.

I wrote specifically to our baby (little did we know we were praying for twins)! I wrote about how much we loved them and how we couldn’t wait to meet them. I prayed they would always be confident of their birth mama’s love for them. I prayed they would never question it. I prayed for their salvation, that they would come to know Christ as their Lord and Savior. It was such a special way for us to feel more connected to them even before we ever laid eyes on them. They were growing in their birth mama’s belly for 9 months, but love had been growing in our heart just the same.

Other helpful things we did to be more connected during the adoption process:

2. Read books and blogs about adoption and parenting. Reading about the adoption process and hearing other families stories ignited hope in us and we were reminded of the faithfulness of our heavenly Father. We also checked in often with our adoption consultant at Christian Adoption Consultant for educational adoption resources.

-Adopted For Life by Russell Moore  -Christian Adoption Consultants Blog -Loving the Little Years-Rachel Jankovic  3. Prepared the nursery. Preparing the nursery may not be beneficial for everyone, but my husband and I found it very helpful in our journey. It was good to have something tangible to be working on while we were waiting.  It also provided us with a sense of hope when we walked into their room. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent in the twin’s nursery before we even knew about them. I would sit in the recliner and journal or turn praise worship music on, as I prayed for them and their birth mama.

4. Friends & family threw us a baby shower. I will never forget the feeling I had walking into our baby shower. As I looked around at the beautiful room filled with all of the women at our church who had been praying for us, I saw my friend standing right in front of me. I  fell into her arms with tears streaming down my face, as I was overcome with their thoughtfulness and the hope that this day brought. We spent time in prayer for my husband and I, the twins and their brave birth mama. At the shower we were given the “The Jesus Storybook Bible” with all of the names of the ladies who were at the shower. They also wrote specific prayers for our children on note cards that I saved and placed in a memory box that I will give to our twins one day.

5. Talked with friends and family about our adoption process. Support and prayers from our family and friends as we were walking through the adoption process was invaluable. There were certain aspects of the process that we weren’t able to share due to confidentiality, but we always kept our friends and family updated on where we were at in the process so they could be praying for us. Prayers from our family and friends carried us through the home study, waiting for an expectant mother to choose us, more waiting, meeting our babies and their birth mom for the first time, and all of the emotions and thoughts that come with the adoption process and being new parents. 

I will never forget the thoughts and emotions that swept over me as I laid eyes on our sweeties for the very first time. All the love that had been growing in our hearts for years overtook me as streams of joy-filled tears ran down my face onto the cheeks of the most beautiful brown eyes staring back at me. They had our hearts wrapped around their little fingers from the moment we held them in our arms.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Walking Through The Adoption Process With Joy

Are you discouraged because the adoption process isn’t what you thought it would be? Are you exhausted hearing “no” from expectant mothers/parents? Have you let the disappointments in the adoption process consume your mind? Are you bitter from comparing your adoption journey with another family’s recent match? Did you recently walk through a failed adoption? Difficulties are certain in this life. In fact, if you are a child of God, hardships are a guarantee. Similarly, the adoption process isn’t immune to challenges. I will never forget the day I got a call from one of my close friends telling me that an expectant mama had chosen them to be the parents of their baby! We had been walking through the adoption process together, and this is the call I had been anticipating from them for a while. However, a few months later their situation seemed to be taking an unexpected turn - the kind that so many adoptive parents fear. The mother had decided to parent. Initially, they were angry, hurt, sad and confused. After the failed adoption, they wondered if God even desired for them to be parents. They felt hopeless and many tears were shed. But as they mourned the loss, they remembered God’s promises to them.

Even though the situation had taken them by surprise, it wasn’t a surprise to our heavenly Father. Even though their circumstances seemed to be changing in a scary direction, God’s promises were no less true. And because their ultimate joy was rooted in Christ and not a specific outcome, they were able to keep moving forward. They were able to keep pressing on with joy because they trusted in God’s sovereign hand. They trusted that His promises were true for them despite the twists and turns of the adoption process.

The day-to-day stress of life can be exhausting. But when you add the unknowns and emotions involved with the adoption process, it can become even more difficult to manage. Having joy in the adoption process can be challenging, but it’s a critical part of the journey that is sometimes overlooked.

Defining joy is important. Today, when we think of joy, we often think of surface-level happy, rainbows and butterflies-type of attitude or perspective. But the joy I’m referring to is a Christ-centered, all- sustaining, all-consuming joy. It's the kind of joy that will hold you up through the deepest trenches and darkest nights. This is indestructible joy.

Psalm 16:11 tells us that, in Christ’s presence, there is a fullness of joy and in His hand there are pleasures forever more. Scripture makes it very clear that, for Christians, our ultimate joy isn’t found in this world but rather in Christ. However, as someone who has struggled with infertility and walked through several bouts of cancer, this is something I’ve really struggled with through the years. How am I to have joy while I’m walking through the really really messy and difficult stuff? I know the Bible says my joy is found in Christ, but how to do I get there? How do I walk this life with joy when I’ve waited years and years for a child with what seems like no answer from God? Perhaps some of you have asked similar questions. How do I have joy when I’ve been told “no” for the 15th time from an expectant mother? I know the Bible says a lot about rejoicing through my sufferings, but how? How do I do that?

Romans 5:3-5 provides a good explanation. “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” There is a distinct connection between joy and hope here. Do you see it? Hope is the anchor to our joy-the expectation, the longing, the knowing. “For our light and temporary affliction is producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles (1 Corinthians 4:17).

As Christians we can rejoice through our hardships because we hold tightly to the hope and promises we have in Christ. As believers, we can rejoice in our difficulties because our hearts have been sealed with the Holy Spirit. His promises are true for us regardless of what we encounter in this life. Lately, I've been learning that it’s quite difficult not to rejoice as I reflect on the promises of God to me poured out all over scripture. These promises may not align with our timetable or be granted in the way we expect them to, but God ALWAYS has our best interest in mind.

1. Thinking about His unconditional love for me that sent His son to a cross for my sins so that I could come to know Him. John 3:16

2. God is committed to making me more like Christ. Philippians 1:6

3. My inheritance is in Christ. Ephesians 1:11-14

4. God has promised to never leave me. Hebrews 13:5

5. God has promised to be close to me when I’m hurting. Psalm 34:18

6. God will withhold no good thing from me. Psalm 84:11

7. God will renew my strength. Isaiah 40:31

8. God will meet my needs. Philippians 4:19

9. He will give me the desires of my heart as I delight in Him. Psalm 37:4

10. God’s peace will guard my heart and mind. Philippians 4:6-7

Although my husband and I didn’t walk through a failed adoption and we had a fairly quickly match, our journey was not without its delays, hardships and unexpected twists and turns. Having joy in the adoption process (and in life) doesn’t mean that you only see the world through an inauthentic, rose-colored lens. Instead we can have joy as we are walking through the hard stuff because our hope is found ultimately in the promises of Christ.

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***

Hope: Your Anchor In The Adoption Process

Hearing “no” from an expectant mother or expectant parents is one of the most difficult aspects of adoption for hopeful adoptive parents.  I would venture to say it’s one of the most difficult things I have to share with my families: “She/They chose to move forward with another couple.”  Even though I’m grateful the expectant mother connected with a different family, it’s never easy to share the news with my families who were not chosen. When my husband and I were walking through the adoption process a situation was presented to us that we immediately connected with. I remember receiving the information while I was at work, and I couldn’t wait to get home to write a letter to this amazing couple that was considering an adoption plan for their child. We were excited and hopeful to present our profile. About a week later, we were informed that the expectant parents chose to move forward with another family. It was not easy news to process.  Even though we were happy that the expectant parents connected with another couple, and even though we trusted God and knew He had a plan, it was still difficult to hear those words: “They chose to move forward with another family.”

In many ways, I believe the heartache we dealt with in infertility prepared us in some ways for the adoption process. Initially, when we began trying to grow our family, I felt as if every negative pregnancy test was God telling us, “No.” Every month became torture. It was very painful for me because I was placing all of my hope into the prospect of having a child. It consumed me. I’m grateful that I was reminded through my infertility to stop placing my hope in external circumstances (having a child or a positive pregnancy test). But instead, I learned to place my Hope in my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Although we were matched very quickly after signing on with Christian Adoption Consultants, we weren’t immune to the heartache of waiting, loss, and those all-consuming questions like, “Have you forgotten about me, God? Do you hear my prayers?” But, it was through those tear-filled pillows and sleepless nights that I learned how to hope and where to place my hope. It was through the storms where I came to know the depths of God’s grace, love and kindness and learned there is no end to it. It was through infertility and miscarriage that I learned that even the most devastating circumstance does not have the power to steal my hope because it is rooted in Jesus Christ. That kind of hope is unshakeable and unwavering. That kind of hope isn’t titled when the storms come. It stands firm. It’s my anchor.

If our journey had transpired any differently then Roman and Ruby wouldn’t be our son and daughter. Every negative pregnancy test, every no, was leading to our yes. I can’t imagine our life without them in it. Being their mother is by far my greatest joy and blessing. I’m so grateful that God reminded me through the adoption process that His plan is far greater than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves. And I have two little reminders of that promise running around our house and filling our hearts to the brim each and every day!

We serve a good Father who loves us more than our minds can fathom. Our Heavenly Father loves us so much that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for my sins, for your sins, for her sins and for his sins so that we might come to know Him. I pray that wherever you are in your adoption journey you will never forget His great love for you; a kind of love that always has your best interest in mind even when you can’t comprehend or understand what He is up to.

The wait is never wasted. I can’t promise you an easy journey or that there won’t be bumps and turns along the way. Nevertheless I can with full confidence remind you that God hasn’t forgotten you. He has heard your prayers. He sees you. He is with you. He promises never to leave you.  Place your hope in Christ, friends. For nothing, not even the rushing waves, will be able to tip your sail over. 

"Never was a faithful prayer lost. Some prayers have a longer voyage than others,  but then they return with their richer lading at last, so that the  praying soul is a gainer by waiting for an answer." -William Gurnall

***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and the services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me at kelly@christianadoptionconsultants.com and check out Christian Adoption Consultants for more information!***