Adoption Story: Waiting Through “No’s” Until Being Chosen for Adoption

I had the pleasure of walking Dillon and Mary through the adoption process from the very beginning of their journey until they held their twin boys in their arms. Like many families in the adoption process, their story was filled with waiting, uncertainty, and countless “no’s.” The emotional toll of not being chosen over and over again can be incredibly heavy, and it takes deep faith and perseverance to continue moving forward. But Dillon and Mary never gave up. I watched as they placed their hope in God, not their circumstances, trusting Him through every high and low. Today, Mary shares their adoption story and what it looked like to keep going—even when they felt exhausted from the wait.

Dillon and I were so blessed to be able to work with Kelly at CAC. I have always believed that God sends us people when we need them most and He did just that with her. When we first signed on with CAC we were so excited and so anxious. I made the comment to my husband “I will not get my hopes up I just pray we have a baby or know something by Christmas.”

Early June we received our first situation. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. We chose to present, but were not chosen. Days turned in to weeks and weeks turned in to months. All of the “no’s” turned in to heart aches. One morning in early December, I texted my husband from work and told him I did not want to present through the holidays. I wanted to make it through Christmas so no one would be asking questions. I felt numb at this point. But then God stepped in.

A few hours after I sent that text we got an email about an expectant mother due with twins. I called Dillon on my lunch break and told him all the details. We decided together to present. We both agreed to keep it to ourselves so if we didn’t get matched..again.. we didn’t have people asking at holiday gatherings. And then a miracle happened. 319 days after signing on with CAC, being told “no” more times than we could keep track of and countless prayers, we got the call. “She chose you!” We got this call a week before Christmas. We cannot explain the love we feel for these two boys. We wouldn’t change one thing about our story because every no, every tear shed, everything we experienced before we even started the adoption process…all of these circumstances led us to our boys and we can’t imagine our life without them!

To families in the wait right now I can relate to what you are going through. Even on days where you feel like you are never going to get your “yes,” keep the faith. That is something we struggled with as the months went by. While we were in the wait it was difficult to hear others offer their advice-“It just isn’t your time yet,” etc. But now looking back I see that they were right. God’s timing is best. There were days when I felt like God couldn’t hear my prayers. But when we held our boys for the first time all of the “not yet’s” and “no’s” made so much sense. On the hard days don’t forget that God is still there. You may not feel Him, but know He is there and He has a plan for you and your family.

Thinking about adoption? I’d love to help. Fill out the short form here to receive my free adoption information packet and get access to my online adoption library with 20+ posts and videos that walk you through the process. You’ll also have the opportunity to schedule a free 30-minute call where we can talk through your questions and what this journey could look like for your family.