Resting in the Adoption Process: How to Recharge in the Waiting
The adoption process is often described as an emotional roller coaster—and for good reason. The highs, the lows, and especially the waiting can feel incredibly exhausting.
If you’re in the middle of this journey, you already know that waiting shows up in so many ways. Waiting for your home study. Waiting to hear from agencies. Waiting for a situation. Waiting to find out if you’ve been chosen. It can feel never-ending. It's no wonder why they say that adoption is not for the faint of heart!
In addition to the ups and downs, and the waiting, it can also be overwhelming answering others questions about your adoption journey. "Is your home study complete yet? Why is it taking so long? Have you seen many situations? Why weren't you chosen? Why is adoption so expensive? Do you know a lot about the birth mother?" Although most family and friends mean well, sometimes these questions can be exhausting and lead to further discouragement in the process. "Yeah, this is taking a long time! I wonder if we will ever be chosen."
Through the long and overwhelming seasons of waiting and the roller coaster of emotions that the adoption process can bring, I want to encourage you to take time to rest and recharge throughout this journey.
This may look a little different for every couple and/or family, but I encourage you to take time to do things that will be refreshing for your soul and mind. Perhaps this means going on a simple weekend getaway to stay a night in one of your favorite neighboring cities. Perhaps this means having a date night where you both commit to not talk about adoption (sometimes you need a break from adoption conversations/questions). Maybe this looks like learning something new or picking up an old hobby you haven't tried in awhile. Maybe this could be a girl’s night out where you go to dinner with friends while your husband watches the kiddos (and next time you can treat him to a guy's night out, of course!). Maybe this just means going on a long run/walk while listening to some of your favorite music. Maybe recharging for you could be going on a family hike and bringing along a picnic.
If you haven't taken any time to rest and recharge recently, I encourage you to put something on the schedule. Plan it. We can make lists of things we want to do all day, but I've found if we don't schedule it, typically that's a pretty good indicator that it won't happen.
Sometimes when we are exhausted and overwhelmed we can begin to see things through the perspective of our fears and doubt: "Why isn't this happening? God, are you not listening to my prayers? What's wrong with us? Why aren't we being chosen?" As you are taking time to rest and recharge, it's my prayer that God would renew your spirit and your mind. It's my hope that you would find your complete rest in the Lord and His promises that are true for you yesterday, today and tomorrow. If you are overwhelmed with worry and fear about the future or your present circumstances, Jesus has some comforting words for you: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).
Thinking about adoption? I’d love to help. Fill out the short form here to receive my free adoption information packet and get access to my online adoption library with 20+ posts and videos that walk you through the process. You’ll also have the opportunity to schedule a free 30-minute call where we can talk through your questions and what this journey could look like for your family.