Peace in Christ Alone

March 15, 2010. The night before I had open heart surgery. Many would assume that I'd be anxious about the morning, anxious about the little tumor camping out on my mitral valve, the little tumor that 3 weeks prior had caused a mini-stroke. But I wasn’t. I surprised to recognize those feelings weren’t there, but instead replaced with an all-consuming peace. 

I'd been overwhelmed in the days prior, but this night was different. I sensed the Holy Spirit's power in that room helping me place my trust in the One who had carried me through time and time again. There was a stillness and a quiet confidence in my heart. I knew that whatever was on the other side of this surgery, whether life, death or any further medical complications, God was with me. I was not alone. God was keeping me. This wasn't a cliche statement I told myself, but something I believed in the deepest parts of my soul. No disease, no sickness, and not even death could snatch me from His mighty hands. 

8 hours before surgery I wrote, "I fell on my knees in the room of my cold hospital floor, weeping with great joy for just how much God is taking care of me. It still seems unreal that I will be having open heart surgery tomorrow. Although I do not know completely why things in my life have unfolded as they have, I do know the King of the Universe. I know the One who holds the world in the palm of his hand, and He knows me, and for that very reason and that reason alone, my heart is at rest & I have peace." If we are grappling to find peace from our current circumstances we will always be left wanting.

Jesus Christ told His disciples in John 16:33, 'I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world.' I have not mastered finding peace in Christ alone all day 24/7, but the Holy Spirit is kind to help me remember. I'm learning throughout this season of uncertainty the sweetness that comes through remembering who the keeper of my soul is. Because when I remember who the keeper of my soul is, the unknowns in this life don't seem quite as scary because I know my soul is safe & secure in my Heavenly Father's arms.