7 Reasons Families Choose to Work With an Adoption Consultant

You are ready to start the adoption process, but where do you begin? When my husband and I made the decision to move forward with growing our family through adoption, we were extremely excited! But, as we began researching our options, we realized there was so much about the process that we were completely clueless about!  After a few weeks of unfruitful research and trying to do it on our own, we discovered it was much more complex than we anticipated. We needed a map and a guide to help us navigate our journey.

A few of my friends had worked with Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC), and we had heard amazing reviews about the services and care they provide their families. After speaking on the phone with a consultant, we signed on with CAC the very next day! I tell everyone that working with CAC was by far the easiest and best decision we made in our adoption journey! Now I have the honor and privilege of guiding families through their own adoptive journey.

Here are 7 reasons why families choose to work with CAC:

1. Multiple Agency Networking– We direct families to apply with trustworthy agencies and attorneys in adoption-friendly states. At CAC, we also receive referrals from adoption agencies and attorneys looking for adoptive families.

2. Education & Guidance– There is more to adoption than the act itself. There is a lot to be learned along the way. At CAC, we are passionate about adoption education, and so we provide many opportunities for our families to grow in this area. We walk with our families throughout their entire 14-month contract and provide them with a step-by-step Adoptive Parent Guide Book-a resource that takes families through the entire adoption process. Our families are provided with monthly newsletters covering topics such as open adoption, positive adoption language, and encouragement for the wait.

3. Experienced Professionals– We’ve been around since 2006 and, since that time, have helped over 4,000 families with successful adoptions. We are one of the largest, oldest, and most experienced adoption consulting companies in the world! Our staff at CAC have over 120 years of combined adoption experience. We have two licensed social workers on staff and 8 team members who have experience working at adoption agencies. Our founders have also launched licensed adoption agencies, so they have a broad understanding of adoption, depth of knowledge in regard to licensing requirements, legal processes of adoption, and how agencies operate.

4. Personal Experience-Most of our staff are adoptive clients and/or former clients of CAC. We have two Adoptees on staff who provide consultations for our families. They have an opportunity to sit with them over the phone, hear their story, learn from their perspective and ask questions. We have a staff that is passionate about adoption and who genuinely care about our clients! We understand the difficulties, joys, and challenges associated with the adoption process because we have walked through some of them ourselves.

5. Shorter Wait Time– The average wait time for a match after a family’s home study is complete is 7-12 months. Some families match sooner than the average time, while other families take longer. Using a multi-agency approach and a personal advocate is the best way to cast a wider net of opportunities in the adoption process.

6. Personal Advocate– As a consultant, we assist families in finding the right agency and adoption situation for their family. Additionally, we will help our clients navigate the warning signs to reduce the levels of risks associated with the adoption process. I love being a part of a team that prays consistently for not only the hopeful adoptive parents but the expectant mamas and birth families, as well.

7. Financial Advice– Adoption can be expensive. We provide families with resources and tools on how to fund their adoption through grants, loans, tax benefits, and fundraising.

From the moment we signed on with CAC, it’s as if a heavy weight was lifted off of our shoulders. We knew where the final destination was, but we were clueless about how to get there. CAC provided us with the map we needed and guided us every step of the way. 

Thinking about adoption? I’d love to help. Fill out the short form here to receive my free adoption information packet and get access to my online adoption library with 20+ posts and videos that walk you through the process. You’ll also have the opportunity to schedule a free 30-minute call where we can talk through your questions and what this journey could look like for your family.

Guest Post: What If My Adoption Journey Looks Different Than I Thought It Would?

Natalie lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, Darren, and their two children, Sophie and Levi. Natalie is a teacher and Darren is a police officer. They spend their time together raising sheep, pigs and chickens (plus numerous other creatures that reside on the farm) and watching the kids ride their horses. 

A few years ago, God called me to mission work. Literally, with a billboard. (That's a story for another day). I traveled to a children’s home in Guatemala for the first time. The next year, I went back. I knew God wanted me to get our church family excited and more involved in mission work. I thought that was it. I did what God asked of me. However, I quickly learned that God’s work is never done, and He was just getting started with me. 

About a week after I returned home from my second Guatemala trip, I felt a tug toward adoption. Everything in my path was about adoption. I simply could not get it out of my mind. One Sunday, our pastor preached about adoption, even though the topic in the bulletin was listed as something else. A friend came up to me and said, "That was a weird sermon." Weird for her, maybe. But I knew it was for me.

On Thursday of that week, I was doing a devotional entitled, "Discerning God's Voice." After studying, I prayed to God. I asked Him simply for a clear answer. He knows how stubborn I can be. I prayed, “God, if this is something you want for our family, you are going to have to be LOUD and CLEAR.”  

The moment I asked for that discernment, my phone rang. It was an agency calling that I had reached out to previously, to see if they could help me on my adoption journey. With tears in my eyes, I knew this was God calling. I knew our life was about to change. My husband Darren, and our two kids, Sophie and Levi, were on board and excited about adding to our family. 

In the summer of 2018 we were matched with a brave expecting mother who was due to have a baby boy at the end of October. She chose our family to raise him. We were over the moon excited! We couldn’t wait to add this little boy into our lives, but also his courageous mama too.  

A few months later we learned that the baby was born early, and a family member stepped in and would be taking him home. Shattered. Broken. This was a complete shock to everyone. Although we were grateful he was able to stay close to his mother, there is a distinctive pain that comes from preparing a place in your heart for a child that never comes. We felt like he was ours already. His nursery was ready, waiting for him. I had already packed his hospital bag and it was waiting by the door. We were absolutely devastated. But we always knew this would be a possibility in our journey. We took some time to heal before moving forward.

After our failed adoption, we kept presenting to other situations. We heard the words, “I’m sorry, she chose another family” more times than we could keep track of. To this day, I have a list of each expecting mama’s name so I could continue praying for them. But the journey became exhausting, and I began to question if I misheard God’s desire for our family. 

In June of the next year we were chosen by an expecting mother of twin boys! We were over the moon excited! Things were falling into place. We started to have phone conversations with this woman. She said she wanted us to be a family and hoped for an open adoption. We were thrilled! Our bond with her continued to strengthen and grow. At the end of summer, we flew to Arizona to meet her and accompany her to a doctor’s appointment.

When we returned home we received a call from the agency. The baby boys were here, and the mama had decided to parent. We were devastated. Darren and I were so heartbroken and angry. No, I did not carry these two boys in my womb, but they grew in our heart. We had their names picked out, our bags packed, and we were ready to go when we got the call. Sophie and Levi were ready to be a big sister and big brother. 

As hurt and confused as I was, I rested in God's embrace. God promised to never leave me, and He promised to be close when I'm hurting. I knew he would renew my strength and meet my needs. I wrote the following in my journal that day, “I do not understand His plan right now, but that's okay. Will we continue on our adoption journey and try again? I don't know that either. I do know that I will pray for this woman. If my purpose was to stand in the trenches and pray for her these last few months, then I am okay with that.”

Once the dust settled, we had a decision to make. We were mentally and emotionally drained at this point. I felt like I was not being a good wife or a good mother to my two children. Our finances had taken a major hit. After much prayer, sadly, we decided to end our adoption journey.

I felt like a failure. As if I had given up on what God had asked us to do. But, we serve a God of understanding, mercy and grace. I suddenly had an enormous peace about our decision. We said we would never completely shut the door. If there was a child in need, we would open our hearts and our home. 

When I was trying to make sense of everything, my husband felt that maybe God just wanted to know that we trusted Him. Darren did not get that audible or visual calling at the beginning of our adoption journey, but how could anyone say no to the many ways God was telling me to start the process?  Darren would get his opportunity at the end. 

Shortly after sharing the news with our church family, one of our friends sent a text to Darren. “I was doing my devotional today and for whatever reason, God was telling me to tell you to read the story of Abraham. I have no Idea what it means or if it will be helpful but I had to tell you.” As you may well know, the story of Abraham’s life is quite in depth and Darren wasn’t sure what area of Abraham’s life God was trying to speak on.  Shortly after receiving that text another friend was talking with Darren and said, “this all reminds me of the story of Abraham.” 

Right after that Darren went to Genesis and began reading. He felt a draw towards the story of Isaac. Abraham and Sarah had longed for a child so long, and now God wanted Abraham to sacrifice the very child that took years of waiting for. But in that moment, the willingness to obey was enough for God. There was a great peace about this story that Darren had, and he felt God asking, “Are you willing? Will you be faithful?” God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Abraham obeyed. His faith in God was so great that he trusted God to do what was best. 

Now that I am on the other side, I do see the good that has come from our journey. One of the things that stands out to Darren and I is how our faith has grown. Through the pain and confusion, God drew our hearts closer to Him. Through the ups and downs of the process He created a dependency on Jesus in our hearts that couldn’t have been done apart from everything we went through. 

Also, we had the opportunity to pray for so many women and their families- the 2 expecting mamas we were matched with and the expecting mamas that chose other families. Did God want us to be there and support them for a period of time? Maybe. And if that’s the case, then I am completely honored that God would allow us the opportunity to do that. To this day, we think about those women and their children and we know that God continues to hear our prayers for them. That time was not wasted and our prayers were not wasted. 

I have days when I look back and still feel confused about our journey. I was so confident in what God was asking of me. Actually, I’m still confident of that. I am still figuring out the “why’s” of what we went through. I do know that God wastes nothing. God is committed to making me more like Christ (Phil 1:6). He promises to never leave me (Heb 13:5). God promises to be close to me when I’m hurting (Ps 34:18). He will renew my strength (Is 40:31) and meet my needs (Phil 4:19). 

If you are walking through a similar story, I pray that God will guard your heart and mind. I don’t know the reason for your pain, but lean into the One who does. You will come out on the other side stronger than you were before. You will find your purpose in this life after loss- purpose in the pain. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but it will come. 

Give yourself time to grieve; that’s very important. Not everyone will understand your sadness and that’s okay. We have gone through a miscarraige, and from my experience, the pain of a failed adoption is quite similar. In some ways, it felt worse. When we walked through our miscarriage, we knew that our baby was in the arms of Jesus. The babies we never met through adoption are living a life we know nothing about. We can pray for them, and pray for God to guide their steps. Today feels heavy, but His mercies are new each and every day. I pray that God will help you see that His work is not done, and joy comes in the morning.  

Guest Post: Choose Joy

I was scrolling through FB a few weeks ago and came across a post that one of Roman & Ruby’s favorite teachers wrote about choosing joy in unknown circumstances. I knew I had to share it over here, so I asked her if I could. She said, “yes!” Shawna Mohler is a wife, mom of two teenagers, an Early Childhood Educator and a follower of Jesus. I hope this post is an encouragement to you, as it has been for me!

3/25/2020

As I write this we are in the midst of a “Shelter in Place” order from the Governor of Illinois in response to the Covid 19 Pandemic that has taken the world by surprise.  As I sit here I feel some anxiety. I am sitting in the quiet of my own living room, in my pajamas, with a laptop in my lap. Why do I feel anxious? I believe for me, it's the unknown. I am a planner. I like to know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen and what I need to do to help. Give me a task and I will complete it. 

I don’t know why God wants me to write my thoughts down. I’m not a writer. I have no desire to write. So I am questioning why.  While I am questioning why, I feel Satan trying to fill my head with lies. “You can’t write. You don’t have anything important enough to say that you should write it down. No one is going to read or care what you write.” All of those statements may be true, but I remember the scripture in 2 Timothy 1:7 “for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control”. Satan is trying to fill me with fear while God is calling me to obedience to listen and act.  So I sit here and I write, not knowing what God is going to do with these words. Not knowing a plan. Not knowing why.  The world around us is filled with fear, but we should be filled with “joy”.  Fear is contagious but joy is, as well. We all need more joy, especially now with the fear we see and hear all day long with the unknown of this virus.  

During the last twenty months I believe that God has been teaching me that I can not control what happens to me or around me. But, I do control how I respond to situations and to people.  I really can control how I respond. I know this statement is true. I wish I could say that I always respond the right way, but I don’t. I’ve adopted my own little saying in the last year and half that I tell myself and my family on a regular basis, “choose joy”.  I have a t-that says “Joy in the Journey”. The journey may be rough, but finding Joy in the midst of the journey is essential.  Again, I wish I could say that I am always joyful and that I always remember this statement, but I don’t. I start to slip into a “woe is me” mindset. Thankfully my God is so faithful and so generous, He gently...or not so gently...reminds me with one simple word: JOY. It’s my attitude that I can control, that allows me to choose joy.  

The dictionary defines joy as “the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying; keen pleasure; elation”. I can get caught up in that definition when I look at my own situations and surroundings. I can ask God “how do you expect me to have joy when I have had to go through so many hard and hurtful things?”  I have wrestled with the verse “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4). I have questioned God on this one many times. How am I supposed to have joy in the middle of THIS? You surely didn’t mean for me to find joy in THIS situation? Do you know what is going on? Do you see THIS?  Each time I have questioned God I get a resounding, “YES”. Yes, I see you. Yes, I know what you are going through. Remember I knew it was coming before you did? Yes, I know you are hurting. But, Yes, I want you to find Joy.  

God wants me to find joy, not in my circumstances, not in my situation, but in HIM. He wants me to find true joy. Joy that only comes from knowing Him and living in obedience to Him. Joy that will flow from Him, through me, and to others. Joy that can only be described by saying, “You see that? You see that joy she has? That joy comes from being a child of the King.” 

I am learning though that choosing joy does not mean you won’t have bad days. That doesn’t mean you won’t be sad or have ‘moments.’ You will. It just means you don’t stay in those moments of sadness and hurt forever. You eventually choose joy.  I am choosing to replace hurt with joy. I am choosing to replace bitterness with joy. I am choosing to replace anxiousness with joy.  I am choosing to replace unforgiveness with joy. I believe that I can choose joy because I know where my joy comes from- Jesus.  I can choose joy because through Him I have a peace that surpasses all of my understanding.

Trust me here, I do not understand this world. But I do understand we live in a fallen world, marred by sin. I don’t understand why I have gone through the things I have gone through. I just have to give Him the glory for getting me through those trials and know that without Him, I would be lost and alone.  But thankfully I can rest knowing He is right here with me.    There is a song that we sing at church called “Hindsight”. When I hear this song I almost always have tears in my eyes.  The lyrics are too powerful to shorten, take time to read through the whole song,

Hindsight

Hillsong Young & Free

As I reflect

I find perspective

There in the best and worst days of this life

You were always on my side

You're in the pain

You're in the promise

And on the days the furnace finds my faith

You're the fourth within the flames

I don't need to know what the future says

'Cause if the past could talk it would tell me this

My God isn't finished yet

If He did it before He can do it again

So I'll trust Him with what comes next

For the God I know is known for faithfulness

Yeah, my hindsight says

I can trust Him with what's next

For the God I know

Is known for faithfulness

There's more ahead

Than what's behind me

'Cause through the highs and lows and in between

God You go ahead of me

And where You call me

I will follow

If the water folds beneath my feet

Then You'll pull me from the deep

I don't need to know what the future says

'Cause if the past could talk it would tell me this

My God isn't finished yet

If He did it before He can do it again

So I'll trust Him with what comes next

For the God I know is known for faithfulness

And my hindsight says I can trust Him with what's next

For the God I know is known for faithfulness

I don't need to know what the future says

'Cause if the past could talk it would tell me this

My God isn't finished yet

If He did it before He can do it again

So I'll trust Him with what comes next

'Cause my hindsight says I can count on this

My God isn't finished yet

If He did it before He can do it again

So I'll trust Him with what comes next

For the God I know is known for faithfulness

Yeah, my hindsight says I can trust Him with what's next

For the God I know is known for faithfulness

My God is known for His faithfulness. He has brought me through so much. How could I not trust Him with what comes next? When I begin to doubt and fear what is happening around me, I think of this song and let the words pour over me, I don’t need to know what the future says. The past (my past) tells me My God isn’t finished yet!

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Shawna Mohler is a wife, mom of two teenagers, an Early Childhood Education and a follower of Jesus. She enjoys spending time with her family, hiking and spending time outdoors. She is very involved in her church and serving her community.